30 Aug 2006

No excuse

We've had a busy few days. One of Lady's summer scheme friends came over on Thursday and another visited on Monday. We had more friends round yesterday too. At the weekend, we went to the cinema and rode the miniature train.

Duncan has been temperamental recently. He keeps shouting and bursting into tears. When he is loud, I may ask him to talk in a quiet voice. He always responds by telling me he is 'not happy.' I say, 'I know you are not happy, but can you be angry and quiet.' He will then say, 'not quiet, ever again.' He's also told me a few times, 'not happy, ever again,' and that he is 'fed up!'
'Fed up' is one of my phrases (such a stupid thing to say, I know), but I don't know where he heard 'ever again'.

This morning, he woke and was in a bad mood from the start. He shouted at me to get him a drink, then threw his cup of juice down the stairs (it has a lid, so only a little went on the carpet). I told him off and was very cross, so he burst into tears, said 'I'm sorry' and told me over and over that he was very sad. He sat on my lap with his arms tight round my neck, and I hugged him as I ate breakfast. I was feeling a bit frustrated, at his behaviour and mine.

Lady and Thomas went upstairs to play with the toy lorry (it opens out to make a town with lots of tiny cars) and Duncan went outside to play on the scooter. He raced up and down, happy and smiling, with a couple of trains in each pocket and I turned on my computer. I had a look to see what's new on the autism hub, and read Abfh's post Another Autistic Child Murdered.
As reported by the Cincinnati Enquirer, three-year-old Marcus Fiesel's foster parents, Liz and David Carroll Jr., intentionally left the boy locked in a hot closet with no food or water for two days. They burned the body and then reported to police that Marcus, who was autistic, hyperactive, and prone to wandering, had gotten lost in a park.

Oh how it breaks your heart. At least this time, the killers have been roundly condemned and no-one has tried to play the 'mercy killing' card. There are many difficult days when you're raising children, but there is never, ever an excuse for this.

You know what I'm going to do right now, I'm going to go up to my sons' room, hug them all tight, and read some Thomas the Tank Engine stories, then probably draw some trains.


Amanda said...

My 2 boys have A.S. J who is nearly 6 has been very difficult recently. I've just read the article you linked, its so sad. Off to hug my kids now too.

The Jedi Family of Blogs said...

Oh, Sharon, your Duncan reminds me very much of my B when he was younger. We spent a lot of time wordlessly hugging after tantrums & overwhelming feelings (on both our parts...). It's different now that he's 10, in that he can tell us what's bothering him more often, but the hugging never stops. Sometimes that's all the comfort we can give each other, & I think that's perfectly ok. :)

Hazel said...

Goo for you, playing with your kids, reading and drawing with them. I've made a real effort this week to spend time playing with Luke, reading to him, cuddling, drawing, and forgetting that the house is a mess. I tell you what, it makes for such a happy home. And when everyones happy no one cares if its messy.

Hazel said...

Ahh, gooD for you. Not Goo. Although goo is nice too, sometimes.

abfh said...

Sharon, here's a book meme to cheer you up. I hope you enjoy it.

abfh said...

Sorry, I just noticed you already did this meme (I came directly to this post through the Autism Hub). Anyway, I hope you enjoy reading my answers.

Sharon McDaid said...

Hi Amanda, thanks for your comment, I hope J feels a bit happier and more settled now. Could you let me know how I can get a password for your blog?
Lisa, you are so right about the hugging. It works magic for us as we're both very touchy people. Duncan has always craved contact. So much for the myth of all autistics shunning physical touch.
Hazel, thanks! And goo for you playing with Luke too ;-)
I hope you were dressing up!
Abfh, thanks for mentioning the meme, I do like your answers.