30 Jan 2008

Anxious days

We headed off to W5 (cool science play and exploration place) yesterday with a few other HE families. The children enjoyed their day out. Thomas was so excited when he woke, wanting to leave immediately to see his best friend J. whom we haven't seen for a while. While there, I stayed by Duncan as he explored where and when he wanted, while Thomas and Lady hung out with their friends and the other families. Occasionally our paths crossed. Duncan enjoyed filming himself in front projected images of a hurricane or volcano. Mostly, he pretended to be flung around by the 'wind' but he kept breaking into song; Kooks by David Bowie, as heard on his picture video. He doesn't get the pronunciation quite right, but what he's singing is instantly recognisable. He particularly likes the lines,

'And if you ever have to go to school,
Remember how they messed up this old fool.
Don't pick fights with the bullies or the cads,
cause I'm not much cop at punching
Other peoples dads.'

He hears the word 'cads' as 'cats' and it always makes him giggle.

We had lunch in the pizza restaurant and Duncan ate ice-cream. He got really loud and angry when my friend's 2 year old son was upset, he frightened the little boy, which made Duncan more worried and aggressive behaving, shaking me and shouting. He calmed down quite soon and I had to reassure him multiple times that A. (the 2 year old) was OK.

He has for a while now become very distressed when he hears anyone crying. It can be tricky when we're out somewhere and he's near a crying baby or child. He has also become more anxious and worried about things in general. If he hurts himself he asks over and over, 'Duncan will be fine, Duncan not die?' He asks the same if he hears Lady or Thomas hurt themselves. A few days ago we were playing and he scratched me by accident, causing the skin to break. I told him he had hurt me and he said sorry and went to kiss me better. But them he noticed the mark and became really distressed, running off and getting tissues and a cloth and rubbing the mark and crying. He didn't want to see the (tiny amount of) blood and it took repeated statements that I was fine, I would not die, the new skin will grow, to help him settle. Since then, he's regularly checked the progress of healing on the little mark.

He's also stared to worry about the house burning down, especially if he's spilled something, and asks for reassurance about that regularly.

I have noticed that he seems to feel compelled to tap twice with the side of his fists, whenever he makes a mistake in setting up his toys or if he drops something. That doesn't bother him though so it doesn't bother me either. I am concerned about his anxiety though. I'm looking forward to more daylight and nicer weather and getting outdoors more. I think we have all been inside too much over the dark winter months and fresh air and exercise will do everyone good, but especially Duncan.


Anonymous said...

How about a social story about how sometimes people cry & that's OK and that sometimes people get hurt but most of the time they are fine?

I love the sound of W5. We're going to the Glasgow Science Centre on Sunday with our friend & her daughter but your place sounds better!

Club 166 said...

That sounds like a delightful place, and I'm happy that you all had a (mostly) good time.