26 May 2006

Starting over, again

I’ve moved to a new blog as I couldn’t figure out how to do what I wanted with the old one and I don’t have time just now to learn.

So…I’ve been filling in the Disability Living Allowance form for Duncan and it’s bloody depressing. I have to write down all things he has difficulty with, has problems with or is delayed in and then to make it clear to the decision makers, I have to compare him to typically developing children who don’t need all this extra help. The whole document is a concentration of all the negatives. I can’t put anything positive or hopeful in or he’ll not be considered eligible for financial support. It’s nearly as bad as watching the infamous ‘Autism Speaks’ video, but unlike that, I won’t be writing about suicide/homicide thoughts (erm, to clarify, that would be because I don't have them). Writing my last post about how great Duncan is was such a pleasurable respite.

Lady made her Brownie promise on Wednesday. I went into the hall to watch her with both boys. If I was a bit more organised, I would have made sure Gordon was home in time to look after them, but no. She did great and the boys were loud and I couldn’t stop them running around the hall. I mean, what 4 or 5 year old runs into a church hall without wanting to clatter up and down the wooden floor. I was a bit embarrassed though and we went out as soon as Lady was finished. The Brownie promise still has the bit about ‘serving my god and the queen and my country’; blah. I can’t help the hackles rising slightly at that queen bit. But, I’m trying to raise a new breed of northern irish child who isn’t bothered by all that symbolism, so I keep quiet.

We continue to live in a Harry Potter world. Lady has been listening to the audio books and has almost finished the lot. She just came to the really emotional bit in ‘The Half Blood Prince’, so we had a big talk about that.

Thomas was having his morning cuddle when he said ‘dieing is bad isn’t it?’ I replied that it usually is, then he said that it wasn’t so bad if you die at home and not outside because carpets are softer and you wouldn’t hurt yourself. He’s not quite got it yet.

I’ve been reading all these wonderful and moving posts on the Autism Hub marking the death of a 3 year old child. It's too sad.

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