26 Feb 2006

When you want to hear 'NO!'

Duncan has been great these past few days. Well at least I think so. On Saturday I left both boys at my MIL for an hour while I took Lady to Ju-Jitsu. When I got back, Duncan was asking for a train that he had convinced himself I would buy. He was upset that I didn’t have it and was making a lot of noise so I took him into the kitchen to calm down. His Grandma told me he was very unhappy while I was gone and kept saying, ‘he has a bad cold’ to excuse his behaviour. I knew that wasn’t it; he was just really unhappy that I didn’t get what he wanted. I empathised with him, and after a while he calmed down, though every time he remembered he became a little upset again. But it was OK, I really wasn’t worried at all but his Grandma obviously was. I started to tell her about how great he’s been at playing with the others and how he’s talking more and even starting to read. It’s hard on her to see him at his worst. She loves them all deeply but finds it much easier to engage with Lady and Thomas. She was talking to Thomas about his beautiful eyes (he’s well used to hearing that!) and he nodded in his wise and sombre manner and said ‘yes, the white bits are made out of paper and the black bits are made from coal’, referring to his eyes! A while later, I said something to him about how I was trying to make a point (daft thing to say to a 3yo I know) and he screwed up his forehead and said ‘points? Change the points?’ because so many conversations in our family centre on trains.

Lady has been drawing lots. She drew a picture the other day which she told me was of her ancestor, in a field in Jamaica and she was sweating because it was hot.
Now when I write out some sums for her, she does the sums then decorates the page and writes ‘Oh no’ but crosses that out, then writes ‘oh yes’ which she circles. She also writes ‘by Lady’ on all her work, except she writes her name in Chinese characters. (A friend of Gordon’s wrote it out for her last year and she copied it hundred’s of times!)

Duncan has been talking more and more. When he’s asked something, he will now give a most emphatic ‘no’ when appropriate; when he’s done something wrong (naughty) and I tell him so, 50% of the time he spontaneously says sorry and 50% of the time he says thank you when he’s given something. Whatever everyone else is up to, he wants to be part of it. He was playing hide and seek with Thomas in my bed this evening. When Thomas was under the covers, Duncan was saying ‘where is he, I can’t see him’ and laughing because he knew where he was, then he pulled back the duvet with a flourish saying ‘there he is!’ That was another first!
Gordon really thinks he should go to school until the end of term at least. I see no point but I’ll see what happens tomorrow.

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