Sisterly Pride

Lady

Duncan

Thomas

Lady was just admiring the photo of her brother on the last post, and I was telling her what I'd written about. She said that I should write, 'I don't mind autism because Duncan wouldn't be Duncan without autism and he's a nice boy, he's very funny and he was a cute baby.' She wanted me to include her opinion, so there you are. She also asked me to include a photo of Duncan as a baby and just to show off my gorgeous children, I've put up pictures of each of them.

Another brother and SIL and their children came for a visit on Saturday. Lady and her cousin A (who's just over a year older than her) had a great girlie time together, playing with the guinea pigs, dressing up, making up dances and acting out Harry Potter games. Thomas and my only nephew were together all day, Duncan joined them in building a huge train track in the living room. Gordon had to work in the morning but joined us for dinner, and Dad and G. came in too to get a chance to see everyone. It was another nice, family day.
It didn't hurt that the Irish rugby team roundly defeated the English...in Croke Park!

On Sunday we went to a Potato Fayre; why its spelt like that I don't know. But anyway, there was a donkey, who was coping admirably with hundreds of small children feeding him hay, a horse and trap jogging around and stalls with hundreds of potato varieties. A band was playing, and Lady and Thomas had a go at chucking a welly boot as far as they could, each winning a prize (pens and rulers) for their efforts. I'm making it sound a bit like the fair in Father Ted (the world's worst funfair) but it wasn't quite that bad ;-)

We walked down to the beach after, all the children eating ice-creams in spite of the low temperature and drizzle. Duncan was fine until he saw all the dogs out walking and then he got upset that they wouldn't tickle him!

He (and Lady) desperately want a dog. I'd consider it and could possibly be persuaded, but not Gordon. I recently read about how the Irish Guidedogs charity have been training assistance dogs for autistic children. It appears they have been very beneficial for these children. Now if someone was to offer us a well trained dog like one of those, I'd be pretty keen. But so far, only people resident in the republic are eligible.

Ah well, we've still got Daisy and Crookshanks!

The Burden I Carry?

Today I received a letter from NAS NI, asking me, as a user of their befriending scheme, to fill-in a questionnaire about the impact of ASD on family life, and a Parental Stress Index. They are funding the research, to be carried out at Queen's University Belfast, to assess the influence of the befriending scheme, and to 'highlight important issues to prospective funders.'

Now, I'm not too happy with this questionnaire. It's very much skewed towards showing what a horrible thing it is to be saddled with an autistic child. Every single question on the Parental Stress Index, is about negative traits, feelings and expectations. For example;

I find myself giving up more of my life than I expected to meet my children's needs.
Since having this child, I have been unable to do new and different things.
My child is not able to do as much as I expected.

The Family Impact Questionnaire is much the same (emphasis mine), eg;

Nobody understands the burden I carry.
Fatigue is a problem for me because of my child's condition.
This condition has placed a strain on the relationship between me and my partner.

Now to be fair, some questions (5 out of a total of 65 questions counting both parts of the questionnaire) ask about the positive effects of having an autistic child, in terms of how it may have brought the family closer, and 'learning to manage my child's condition has made me feel better about myself.'

There are no questions about the benefits of the child's autism, as being a lovable, quirky and integral part of your child. The only good thing that's possible, as presented here, is a sort of 'strength through adversity' effect.

I think these sort of questionnaires, can shape how someone feels about things. If the only options on offer, are devastation and despair and problems, you could have a more negative attitude than you otherwise would. I wonder if this questionnaire would ever be considered appropriate for the parents of children with other disabilities, like Down Syndrome or Cerebral Palsy.

I'm not saying that having an autistic child is all sunshine and roses; it's hard work at times, can be frustrating, difficult, tiring. Thankfully, we don't have to deal with the most common case of stress for autism parents; dealing with a failing education system, since I'm taking care of that at home. I'm not having to do the fight for access and services that many must do; not yet anyway. The only thing that has caused me trouble from 'the system' lately, was applying for Disability Benefits, which is an unwieldy and flawed process in need of a serious overhaul.

But I object to the way this questionnaire presents my autistic child as being the likely source of all or most of my problems. And that just isn't so.

I haven't decided what to do about this. I won't fill it in, but I think I will write to the NAS to explain my feelings. I have recently joined this organisation, because it mostly is working as a force for good, and I know some really good people who are helping to make it even better.

Edit: Estee has a great post up about this type of thing: Good Practice in Representing Autism

A few nice days

On Sunday, my brother and his family here visiting along with Dad and G (my step mum). My niece C will be 5 next week, so I made a birthday cake. Gordon made a vat of chili, I made some guacamole. (Lady was eating this, along with a few tortillas, and wanted to know if it was Irish food!) Then I brought out the cake which was demolished so fast that poor Gordon, busy making everyone coffee, didn't get any. He needs to learn that if he's eating when my family are around, he needs to move fast!

It was such a nice day. The children amused themselves all day, playing on the trampoline and in the house. Duncan spent a good part of the day in his room playing with his trains, or on the computer. he was quite content. He and my dad went for a little walk together too. Dad was so pleased to hear Duncan's great reading, and to see the nice little train he's drawn recently. Here's the two of them, playing a kissing game.

The next day, Duncan was quiet and drowsy. He lay beside me or on my lap getting loads of cuddles while I read to him. He has a cold, as do Lady and now me. I was a bit concerned that he's be too ill to go with us on Wednesday, on our trip to the Exploris Aquarium, but he was fine. I just wrapped him up warm and packed a lot of tissues.

Wednesday was an unusually warm and sunny day. I really enjoyed the drive down the Ards Peninsula, past the beautiful Strangford Lough, on clear roads and in my shiny, new car. There's a special light in Ireland, the colours were clear and bright; green hills, brown ploughed fields, blue lake. It was gorgeous. I stopped to take a photo on my way home, and Thomas decided I should take one of him running, so voila!


The aquarium is a great place to visit, though I had to do a lot of running after Duncan, calling to him to STOP...as usual. He remembered that when we were last there, about a year ago, there was a cafe where he'd eaten a pink donut. So of course, getting back to the cafe was his prime objective for the whole time we were there.


We arrived in time for a talk at one of the touch tanks and Lady and Duncan were able to stroke rays, hold a starfish, and pass around a dogfish egg. Thomas didn't want to touch anything. We passed the other tanks and went to watch the rescued seal pups. They will all be released back to the sea when they're old enough to fend for themselves. They were very obliging though, swimming right up against the viewing window in their pool and showing off for us.

Trevor the Traction Engine (as shown with Duncan) enjoyed the trip too.

Big Feelings

I've been trying to write this for a while. It's gone through several drafts and I'm not sure this will express it properly either.

I'm having a hard time knowing how to best help Duncan in some ways. There's so much shouting and wailing and shrieking when he's unhappy. We're all getting overloaded, and each of us, at times, adds to the high levels of noise and anxiety in the house. At some stage every day, Duncan is in floods of tears because of something he wants to be given or have done or because he's just had too much stress. A few times this past week, we were both sobbing, sitting hugging and crying together.

There's so much that I'm grateful for, and every day we have fun and connect and develop, so I'm not in any way ranting about some 'terrible affliction' here. I'm trying to see if writing it down, will help me see what's actually causing this or what I can do or change.

For example, something that's been happening increasingly often, particularly when other children are around for a play, is that Duncan ends up chasing someone, shouting and angry and swatting at them. The other child will shriek and keep running away from him, winding him up even more. I have tried to explain to them all, that they shouldn't do this, that they make him upset and worried and cross when they run away from him. I've asked them to try to stand still and say to him 'don't hit me, that hurts' or even to look really sad or pretend to cry. Duncan always holds back, never tries to really hurt anyone, and hates the idea of making people sad. Many, many times over the past few weeks, I've had to intervene and separate them, often taking Duncan to another room to calm down or to try to distract him. Sometimes it's difficult; he just wants to strike out and I've been the one he vents with.

A really lovely little girl has moved in next door. She and Lady have become great friends and she comes over after school most days. She's been really nice to Duncan and sort of mothers him, which he likes. Her younger brother has been round a few times too. They all get on well and my children are delighted to finally have neighbours to play with; that house having lain empty for over a year.

But yesterday I had to tell Lady that unless they could try really hard, to stop setting up situations where they all start to run away from Duncan, they'd have to play over at their house more often. Yesterday they started playing a game, which I think was instigated by Duncan, where one of them was running after him, saying 'let me see your top', (don't ask!) which he was much happier with. He definitely prefers to be the chased rather than the chaser.

The schools are closed for the half-term break, so another family we're friends with have just been round. The children were playing in the garden, running round getting mucky. Duncan though was with me and my friend, colouring a sheet of paper pink, which I then had to make into a 'Tubby Custard' bowl. He then went out to join the others, and all was well for a while as they bounced on the trampoline. Soon though, Duncan was shouting angrily and running after Lady trying to hit her. The same sort of thing kept happening and he was frustrated and cross. They have just gone home, and Lady and Thomas have gone to their house for a while. It's nice and quiet now, and Duncan and I are chilling out together.

I want to reduce the stress he's under, without stopping them all from having fun. I also need to help him find other ways of dealing with these big feelings, that aren't so upsetting for himself and everyone. We all need to calm the heck down a bit.
autism northern Ireland

Big Thunder Mountain Learning

So we've got a nice, shiny, clean, new (nearly) car, and the first thing we do is to go and get fish and chips. Mind you, these weren't ordinary fish and chips, these were award winning (Millars in Newtownards) and were well worth the price of stinking up the car a bit.

On Monday, M. (NAS befriender) came round bringing a few big cardboard boxes with her. Right away, Duncan was instructing her on how to make a Big Thunder Mountain train, which I was able to finish off later, to his delight. This is his Big Interest of the minute, and he spends ages looking at pictures and videos of it on the web, then asking me make lots of little paper trains. He has also busied himself with writing the words out on paper and yesterday I came across him making a really nice picture of the mountain and tracks using the Paint program. He's also singing, 'She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes' very frequently, complete with dancing and clapping. He liked my version, 'He'll be coming round big thunder mountain...' though he usually asks me to stop singing if he hears me.

Today though he found this poster, and wanted me to draw it. Well, fine, it wouldn't look as good as the original, but I was willing to have a go. I carefully wrote out the words and was colouring them in when a little insistent voice starting telling me to 'fix it, need a Huh, put in Huh' and I saw that I'd written 'TUNDER', but my smart and observant boy wasn't going to let that go by uncorrected. The poster (with THUNDER spelt correctly) is now hanging on his bedroom wall.

What is that thing about following their interests again?

It's such a pity that he won't come with us to Disneyland Paris. I think he'd just love to see this first hand, but he knows best what he is and isn't ready for, and for now, flying is just too big an aversive.

Both boys have been making progress in their reading ability. I can see how reading is already helping Duncan to figure out the words that he hears but can't quite make out. It's also clear that he is using phonics to decode unknown words. I was surprised by that, but it's so interesting to see.

And Happy Valentines Day to all you romantic types!

autism, northern Ireland, autistic, learning

We're not all bigots

I had a total blast at my cousin's Civil Partnership last week. The service was lovely and the couple looked great in their coordinating outfits. They had bridesmaids and flower girls and the whole shebang. About 100 of their friends and relatives attended and it was nice to see so much support for them both. In a week when I read a report that Northern Ireland is the most bigoted place in the world, it's good to see that the homophobes didn't get in the way last Friday. I know that many of our relatives from the older generation who attended, all of whom are devoutly religious, were a bit saddened that it wasn't an ordinary wedding, but they were still all able to accept that this is how it is and to support their niece/granddaughter.

As always, I had some mad crack with my cousins, caught up with one of them I hadn't seen in years, drank vodka for the first time and managed to get a bit of a boogie too. So it was a proper Irish wedding. I stayed at my dad's place that night, and we left before the fighting started. Nah, only joking, it was a nice, well behaved crowd, in spite of all the Derry people there ;-)

I haven't been blogging or reading other's blogs so much lately. First I was spending my computer time researching our holiday and for the past week, I've been looking at cars. We've now decided to exchange our 6 yo Alhambra for a 2 yo Vauxhall Vectra. We'd bought the 7 seater thinking that we'd be taking Gordon's mum out with us often, but that hasn't happened.

But then when I did catch up on news or blogs, it was often just depressing. Like the report mentioned above, or the news about the couple jailed for disgusting abuse of their 4 yo child with cerebral palsy. What the hell kind of world is this?

I got an e-mail from the Aspies for Freedom group, saying that the Autism Speaks (spit) group are making inroads in Britain. We don't need this fervently anti-autism, miss-named gang here. AFF are asking those who support autism rights to sign their petition,though only UK citizens can do so.

To top it all, the UK government is currently re-thinking its position on elective home education, and it's expected that we will be subject to much more regulation at the end of it, which would compromise our ability to provide a customised education suitable to each child and their individual needs. A recently formed campaigning group, Ahed, is seeking to limit the potential for a reduction in our freedoms.

I mean, right now, I'm writing this, supervising Lady's work on her maths, helping Thomas get into his superman suit and drawing a Legoland map for Duncan at the same time (it's just taking a long time!) The vocabulary Duncan is using is amazing; he's telling me where we are going and what we're doing on the map. This would never come under the National Curriculum, but it's what works for my boy.

Wetlands and Weddings

The past week has whooshed by. Yesterday we went to Castle Espie, a wetland centre on the shore of beautiful Strangford Lough. It was mild and thankfully dry day. There were a few other HE families with us. We started off feeding the ducks and geese. The children each had a bag of grain; Duncan was flinging handfuls into the pond before tipping the whole lot out, whereas Thomas scattered mere pinches out of his bag and ended up taking most of it home. I suppose the garden birds will be glad! I took Duncan's Major buggy and he sat in it for short periods. Mostly he ran so, as usual, I had a mini-workout too.

We all had a lovely time. Thomas and Lady enjoyed seeing all their buddies and they all ran and climbed and explored. We ate our packed lunches in a building which Duncan described as 'a big house, old house...Hogwarts!' Oh, there was another HP reference earlier, Duncan was chasing a goose when he shouted 'Rictosempra!' then lifted his foot as if to kick it, mercifully missing, whether by design or by mistake I couldn't tell.

Later today, I'm going to my cousin's Civil Partnership. This cousin, A. was the last born cousin of my generation so she's always been the baby of the family. I'm really fond of her and have great memories of the time she and her Mum came over to stay with Gordon and me in our London flat. She was only 11 then, and it was such a blast taking her around London. She was so excited and enthusiastic, loved everything. She even managed to make people smile on the Underground, when she read out one of the awful advertisement puns, and laughed about it 'cause she thought it was so funny.

Anyway, she's all grown up now and in love with a woman whom I had the pleasure to meet at the previous family wedding. I really hope they have a great day, there's going to be a lot of people going and, to be honest, I'm looking forward to the party!

4/5 Family Holiday

I had this bright idea that we should all go on a holiday somewhere, and taking inspiration from another HE blogger, I started looking into Disneyland Paris. It took a while for Gordon to agree that we should do this, when there are so many good reasons not to. But finally we decided that, if we were well prepared and went with a very open mind and I was wholly willing to spend all my time with Duncan watching the Big Thunder Mountain train, or whatever it was he wanted to do, then we'd manage fine.

So, I tell the children that I'm going to book this trip, probably during March. Right away Duncan protests, he tells me he is not going to Disneyland, he is not going on the aeroplane. I don't try to convince him, but I find some on-line videos of the park and various rides. He really enjoys watching these, especially the footage of the aforementioned Big Thunder Mountain train and the Buzz Lightyear ride. But, he still doesn't want to go. I ask if he wants to stay with Granda while all the rest of us go away without him, and he says yes. No matter what way I put it to him, no matter how I try to reassure him that he'll be with Mummy on the plane and we'll be happy together, or how there are lots of fun things to do and see in Disneyland, he's just not going. He told me to buy him a present, a toy Evil Emperor Zurg.

So I've now booked for 4 of us to go for 4 nights in April, while Duncan stays with his grandparents. It will certainly be a whole lot easier to manage without him, but it's a shame that we couldn't have our 1st ever proper family holiday together. I hope that, if we all enjoy this enough, we might all be able to go again in a couple of years time when Duncan would probably be more willing to fly.

But if not, we can holiday in Ireland, or to be really wild, take a ferry to Scotland!

A trip to the doctor

Last Monday, I took Duncan to see a paediatrician for a review. It's been a year since he last saw a doctor so we went along. He was in great form and so charming. He chatted on her phone (Hello! Is it Lala! Is it Duncan...yes, I here...) The paediatrician's phone actually rang while we were talking and he answered it, she let him talk for a bit then took over.

Anyway, I told her all about how he's been getting on, what great progress he's made. I mentioned the drawn out bedtimes and the difficulty he has getting off to sleep most nights. She told me that he could try melatonin, so I'm gong to read a bit more about it to see if I think it would be the right thing, and moreover, to see what Gordon thinks about it. He's the medication expert in this family, after all.

She also said that she sees children with ADD and ADHD often and that these are sometimes comorbid with autism. She mentioned drug therapy; stimulants, and asked if I wanted to investigate that possibility. I don't. I told her that although he may fit the criteria for another label, I don't see how it would help him at this stage. I certainly don't want to give him any stimulant medication. He doesn't need it. As long as he's learning and developing, he's fine as he is.

NAS Position on Ashley X

I've just read the the following on the NAS website;

The National Autistic Society champions the rights of people with autism and is committed to equal rights for all disabled people. Disabled children are children first and foremost and, as such, should have the full and equal human rights that are accorded to other children. Preventing disabled children from developing into adults is not only degrading but contravenes their basic human rights.

I am pleased to see that they are taking this position. On the same page, they highlight the campaign by Scope (the Cerebral Palsy organisation) to defend disabled children's human rights.

Scope have this to say about the Ashley X mistreatment;

If we are to prevent potential abuse of the human rights of disabled children in the future then the government must face up to the pressure families are under and increase the money and support available to them. Our society must adapt to the needs of all children, disabled and non-disabled alike. Children must not be adapted to fit our society.

We demand that the government provides appropriate and adequate support to disabled people and their families and prohibits similar medical interventions in the UK.

They are requesting that people sign up to support their campaign. I have added my name, and am so relieved to see such a campaign in place. I can only hope that they get lots more support.

Imprisoned Innocent

I heard on the local radio news a few days ago, about Muckamore Abbey Hospital. People with severe learning disabilities are being kept in the hospital, in wards which are locked at night, because more suitable accommodation has not been arranged for them. According to a BBC report;

One man was ready to leave the hospital 10 years ago. He is still there. He is one of 118 people whose treatment is complete - but his discharge has been delayed because there's nowhere suitable for him to go. For over 10 years, there has been a policy that no-one should live long term in hospital. Hospitals like Muckamore should be used to assess and treat people prior to their discharge.

And also;

And there's another problem. Some locked and unlocked wards were recently amalgamated at Muckamore and that has meant about 20 adults now find themselves locked up - even though they have never been assessed as needing secure accommodation.
Now some have expressed concern that these people's human rights are being abused.

Well, too right their human rights are being abused. I don't know what I can do about this, but there has to be something. It cannot be allowed to happen without concerned citizens making some sort of protest.

Turf and Trains

We took another trip to the Folk and Transport Museum yesterday, where we met up with 2 other families. On our way in, I showed my pass, got the tickets, and said 'thank you, cheerio!' to the man in the ticket booth, to hear a clear, high little voice call out from behind me 'thank you, cheerio!' Lady and I were laughing at how cute Duncan sounded and he said 'ha, ha, ha. It's funny!'

It was wet and windy but we're hardy. We started off in the Folk section, and walked...did I just say we walked...no, we don't do walking, we ran round the town and in and out of various old buildings. We saw our friends and I spent about 5 minutes in their company, before Duncan splashed through a puddle getting his socks and trousers wet. He wasn't happy with that, and was about to sit on the wet, muddy ground and strip off. I took him into one of the cottages and we sat in front of a lovely turf (dried sods of peat) fire where he did take off his wet things, and I dried them by the fire. It was really pleasant actually. We sat in the warmth, chatting and I told him some stories (about a little boy falling in a puddle). He enjoyed the rocking chair, we're going to have to get one of those for our house.

I let him go upstairs alone, expecting him to come back straight away. When a minute had passed, I went up to find him lying in one of the grotty, old beds. Eventually we went out to find the others, as I had abandoned Thomas and Lady. They were all happy, but cold, so we went over to the enclosed transport section.

The children all had such a great time and Duncan was pleased to see that Percy was back in place (in the model train display case). Thomas is so funny when he gets together with his buddies, he acts all silly to try to make them laugh. I took the boys home after an hour or so, but Lady stayed with D and her boys (so D was only looking after 7 children aged 12, 11, 9, 8, 7, 4 and 1!)

On Friday, my dad and step-mum came round for lunch. It was his birthday, so we were having a little party. Lady made a nice card, and I made some pizza and a cake. They brought a leftover box of Christmas crackers round and the children enjoyed opening those; particularly Duncan. I had a headache later though, and the 2 boys were being very loud. It just felt like one of those days when I wished children came with an off switch, or at least a pause button. I had a nice cuddle though when I was putting them to bed, and when Gordon came home we ordered a takeaway curry, washed down with a glass of red wine, and the day was fine again.

Something to laugh at every day

Last Sunday, my dad and step-mum came for a visit. Duncan wanted my help with something or other and kept asking me to come with him. A few times I stalled and told him I'd help him soon and he then grabbed my hand, telling me to come on and to wake up. I told him he was hurting my hand (he was squeezing hard and my hands are sore anyway at the moment) so he kissed them both, walked round behind me, and started pushing my back in the direction he wanted. Dad thought that was so funny. Duncan always does that, or when I'm having a meal or a cup of tea and he's waiting for me ('cause I always tell him I'll help him when I've finished eating/drinking) he sits watching each mouthful, encouraging me, sometimes putting the cup to my lips.

On Monday we went to the Transport Museum and met up with M. our NAS befriender. A large room full of steam engines ensured Duncan was a very happy boy. He did get a bit worried as the Thomas and Percy trains were not in their usual position in the model train display case. He kept going back to it and looking for them. I said that they might be at the works. I said perhaps Percy had gone into the water (as in the story, Percy Takes the Plunge) and had to be mended. He didn't agree with this assessment and decided they were stuck deep inside one of the tunnels. He thought hard and searched in his mind for the right words; 'Not at the works, Thomas is...underneath...inside...in there.'
I remember a speech therapist telling me about the difficulty she was having helping him to understand such concepts as under, over, beside etc. Many hours of playing trains together have sorted all that.

At home he impressed me by completely independently taking a piece of paper and some markers and drawing a huge number 6. He copied it from his 'Percy' engine, so it was yellow and red and green in the middle. He then covered it with sticky tape, asked me to cut it out and stuck it down his trousers a bit so it sat against his side. Then he ran chuffing round the house. It was bedtime soon after, and I was able to do my Fat Controller impression and instruct all the engines that at the end of their busy day, they all had to go to the shed for a well deserved rest. Somehow, the little engines responded to this, and I had one of the easiest bedtime sessions for weeks.

Our slightly more structured schedule is working well for Lady. She's working well and getting through a lot. Thomas still just writes little notes when he wants, draws rainbows, plays computer games and with his toys. Well, they'd be able to play with a few more toys if I could find the key to our spare room. Most of the toys are stored there and locked up, so they aren't all pulled out at once and it's easier to tidy up. But we can't find the blasted key or any of the spares. If it doesn't turn up soon, I'll have to seek Anthony's intersession.

A year of blogging

I posted my first ever blog post on January 16 2006. and have written 133 posts since then. I really didn't think I would keep this up but it's been wonderful. I'm so pleased that I have recorded some of the little stories of my children growing up; things that I will be grateful to read again for years to come. The interactive aspect of blogging is great too, I feel honoured to be part of 2 great blogging communities; the home-education ring and the Autism Hub.

I'm going to rewrite my 2nd ever post here, which was about why the blog was called The Voyage.

Because when Gordon and I first became friends back in '91, I lent him a Christy Moore tape called 'Voyage' which he listened to while travelling to Jamaica to see his Dad. It's something we shared right back at the beginning of 'us'. I really like the song 'The Voyage'. It's simple and true and as time goes by and we have made a family, it means more.

Life is a journey, and love is its boat,
On troubled waters, it keeps us afloat,
When we started this voyage, there was just me and you,
Now gathered round us we have our own crew.

Isn't that sweet...

Anyway, then the children were 3, 5 and 7 and Duncan was still at school. They are all learning at home now and very happy we are with this set-up. They have all grown so much since I started. Lady is even taller, more knowledgeable, mature and sensitive and into Jujitsu and Harry Potter. Duncan has progressed more than I would have believed possible. He talks more, makes himself understood, is interested in loads of things, is learning to read and just recently started writing and drawing too. Thomas is no longer the just out of babyhood cutie. He's a proper boy, independent and smart (but he's still Mummy's little darling first thing in the morning and last thing at night.)

I think I'll keep this up for a while yet. It's part of my life now. So to anyone who ever reads my wittering, thanks for dropping by and especially thanks for when you've felt like leaving a comment.

And to the person who found me by Googling 'Thomas Tank Engine causing learning difficulties', no, they really don't. They're just a harmless, rather dull to read (though I'm so familiar with the world as it exists on the Island of Sodor now that it feels like a 2nd home) set of books, films and never ending merchandising.

A New Start

I've decided to make our days more structured. I think this will help all of us, and I want to cover more topics with Lady especially. So for the past few days, we have been gathered round the kitchen table, looking like a magazine picture of a home-ed family, withs books spread out and 3 little heads bent and busy. Well, there was a period of about 10 minutes when it looked like that!

I'm asking Lady to do some maths from the CGP book every morning, then an English task (either a story or letter or blog entry). She has never been able to finish this sort of thing and we have loads of half written letters and stories lying around. I'd also like to see her gain confidence at getting things down on paper. She can tell these long convoluted stories when she's playing with the boys, but dries up when faced with a blank page.

It's been fine these past few days. Lady sits beside me while she's working at her maths, Thomas mostly plays PC games, but he's been colouring in, drawing mazes and rainbows and writing with the stencil. Duncan decided that he wanted to write some numbers too, and wrote in an old maths workbook. Apart from that, we made our pictures and books and he was quite content.

We're going to start using the BBC schools radio programmes again, starting today. We'll be listening to a music programme and a drama one.

Lady has also started back at her Jujitsu and Brownies and I had another Salsa class last night. I've moved up into the intermediate class, and I spent much of it feeling out of my depth and just going wrong over and over. But right at the end, I stopped thinking too hard about the moves, and just allowed myself to be led (there are plenty of men in the intermediate class, whereas in the beginners it was almost all women) and I was getting it! It felt great. I'm glad I started this and look forward to it every week.

But right now, I'm cooking some chips for Duncan. He's already asked me to make a little paper bag, decorated to look like it came from that McD place, to put them in.

But I'm not weird!

Deb tagged me with the weird thing meme that's been doing the rounds. I've been (over?) thinking about this; is weird the same as unusual? Is doing something that isn't common in your location and culture, weird?

Well anyway, the best I could come up with is this;

1. My right pupil is always a bit smaller than my left.
2. When I met Gordon (in university halls of residence) we were friends for a few months, before he wanted to know if we could, well, be more than friends. His method of finding this out, was to generate a multiple choice questionnaire, all nicely printed out, and push it under my door. While it might seem that that's more of a weird thing about him, I thought it was great. We also used to write equations and draw graphs in our letters to each other when we lived apart. I mean, is it any wonder we've produced a neurodiverse child.
3. I sucked my thumb until I had children of my own; then I finally decided I'd better quit. Lady started sucking her thumb the day she was born and still does. I'm not in the least bothered by this.
4. I've never smoked and never tasted so much as a sip of any alcoholic drink until I was almost 30. (The fact that Duncan was born the year before really isn't related to this!)
5. I had good reason to believe that I would need a little pharmacological kick to ovulate, when I wanted to start a family, so I was on a waiting list for a year to see a fertility specialist. During the appointment, the doctor asked me for a urine sample, which he took into a little back room where I could hear him rattling about for a while. After about 5 minutes he came out to announce that I was already pregnant. Probably the easiest job he'd ever had.

This went round the Autism Hub a while ago, but then it was only 5 weird things people were listing, and not 6, so I'm going to leave it at that.
I could go on, but some things are just private ;-)

If anyone wants to enlighten us with what is weird and wonderful about them, and has not been tagged already, then go right ahead.