Our friends arrived from London on Thursday. It was wonderful to see them, the girls whom I'll call Annie and Clarabel and their mum S. (It's OK S., I promise not to call you Bertie here). S. and I met at antenatal classes meaning Lady and Annie were born a few weeks apart. They've been friends since they were babies and have a real close sister-like bond. Clarabel is a 5 year old, cute little imp of a girl. I miss seeing them, as we used to spend a lot of time round their house and they in ours, and we were always available to mind each others children when necessary (though I was easily the main beneficiary of the free child-minding!)
The children clicked back to being together instantly and spent hours playing with dolls and dressing up and reading and watching films and drawing. Me and S. did OK too, we managed to find plenty to chat about, heh, no problems there!
My Dad drove over on Thursday and took Duncan off to stay with him for the day. He'd only been away for 20 minutes when he phoned me. I worried that something might be wrong, but no; he wanted to let me know some of the cute things Duncan had done on the journey. First he'd pointed at some cranes in the city (Belfast is laden with cranes right now) and said it was the harbour ('cause of Cranky the crane in the Thomas stories) then he pointed out the hospital where he'd been recently and told his Granda it was the dentist. Also, my Dad was singing to him and playing an opposite game. He said, 'do be do be do!', Duncan replied 'do be do be don't!'
So Duncan spent a few hours with Dad and G. in their apartment. They took a trip to the pet shop, and just had a lovely time. He was able to communicate all his needs perfectly, even when a tiny train picture I'd made earlier was binned by accident, Duncan let them know so it could be retrieved again. Oh, another first too; when he went to the loo, he said to Dad, 'Go away, no adults.' I didn't even know he knew that word! It's clear that spending time with his Granda is really good for him, and I know Granda and G. enjoyed it too!
At 6 o'clock, he gathered up all his toys, packing them into his bag, went to the door and announced 'I must go home.' So, he did.
While he was away, we had a trip into town and had a hoke round the shops. That night, the girls took ages to fall asleep, preferring to natter into the night. Eventually they dropped off, only to wake at 4.30 am, put the lights on and come ask me if it was morning! Well, nooo my darlings...
On Friday, we went to W5, obviously. It's our favourite place to go. Annie and Clarabel loved it. They had an exhibition of some of the sets from the Wallace and Grommit movie. The detail and humour in these sets is stunning. I made the mistake of looking at something Annie wanted to show me for, oh all of 15 secs and when I looked back to check on Duncan, he had gone. I asked the 2 women on the door of that room if they'd seen a small boy with curly hair whizz by; they had not, but that didn't mean much. I had them warn the person on the main exit to make sure he didn't go out (they all have walkie talkies) then ran down stairs to look for him in the cafe area and sweet shop where he usually goes. He wasn't there but I found him minutes later in another area. He'd only been out of sight for about 4 minutes. After that, I was kept very busy tailing the boy as he explored and investigated. All very nice for him but knackering for me!
At least the girls and Thomas all went off to sleep early that night. Duncan was still buzzing 'til after 10 though. Yawn!
On Saturday, my Dad came out to our house on the train and once more, he took Duncan off with him for the afternoon. They went to the park where Duncan spent all his time in the sand pit, barefoot (in Northern Ireland in October?) and happily digging and piling sand. Afterwards, they stopped at a shop for ice-cream. Duncan tried to get out of the car via the front door and G, my step-mum, had to hold him until Dad got back. He fought and shouted, and when he was settled again he apparently looked at my Dad and said about G, 'I don't like that woman!' Thankfully she wasn't offended! And she was able to buy her way into his affections again by being the one to hand over the ice-cream; good move!
This time, the rest of us went to the zoo. There were few other people there, which was a new experience for our London visitors. We all had a nice time and a good work out going up and down those hills. The highlights were the penguin who flirted with everyone through the viewing window into their pool, and the elephants.
Our guests went back home on Sunday morning leaving us all alone again. We'd had such a nice time together, especially Lady who I was delighted to see, gets on with her friend just as well as if they'd never been apart. They really do love each other like sisters, and I know they will always be close.
Gordon returned from his conference in Chicago on Monday afternoon, feeling utterly exhausted. I am too, and hope we can get things back to normal again soon. Having him away for so long is hard, though it wasn't so bad this time having friends here and so much help with Duncan. I have been a bit low though and need to get my routines in place again, and hope and pray the boy starts going off to sleep a bit more easily soon.
24 Oct 2006
18 Oct 2006
Green Eggs and Ham
On Monday, I was in the charity shop dropping off a load of stuff and then in TK Maxx buying Lady a winter coat. Somehow I also ended up with a load of new CD Roms for the children.
One was Green Eggs and Ham (a bargain at £2) which I thought the boys might like. Well, Duncan just loves it and spent ages playing it yesterday, following the story, repeating the words. I had to draw the train (obviously). I've also had to cook many fried eggs (no yellow bit) for the boy, so more benefits there.
I never liked Dr Seuss as a child, but I know now it was because I never heard the books read aloud, I was trying to read them to myself quietly, and they just don't work that way.
Oh, I've seen the paper linking TV viewing to autism. It's a joke, it has to be a spoof. I'm hoping the authors will come out someday soon and say, 'see how easy it is to sucker you all with some dodgy theory.' Just stick in the word autism and the media opens up to you. Sorry, strike that, they'll ignore most stuff like studies on autistic cognition and studies flagging up the errors in the earlier 'measles in autistic guts' stuff, but come out with any hare brained idea of what the cause of autism is, and they're falling over themselves to give you column inches.
Gordon has gone to Chicago for the week. Yikes! Thankfully, we are having guests this week. Our much anticipated visit from some really good friends from London. Lady in particular is very excited; her best friend in the whole wide world is coming!
I must go help her now. She's a bit fed up with the boys and I just heard her say 'I think sisters are better than brothers.' Thomas answered 'I thinks sisters are pretty', which was very nice of him.
One was Green Eggs and Ham (a bargain at £2) which I thought the boys might like. Well, Duncan just loves it and spent ages playing it yesterday, following the story, repeating the words. I had to draw the train (obviously). I've also had to cook many fried eggs (no yellow bit) for the boy, so more benefits there.
I never liked Dr Seuss as a child, but I know now it was because I never heard the books read aloud, I was trying to read them to myself quietly, and they just don't work that way.
Oh, I've seen the paper linking TV viewing to autism. It's a joke, it has to be a spoof. I'm hoping the authors will come out someday soon and say, 'see how easy it is to sucker you all with some dodgy theory.' Just stick in the word autism and the media opens up to you. Sorry, strike that, they'll ignore most stuff like studies on autistic cognition and studies flagging up the errors in the earlier 'measles in autistic guts' stuff, but come out with any hare brained idea of what the cause of autism is, and they're falling over themselves to give you column inches.
Gordon has gone to Chicago for the week. Yikes! Thankfully, we are having guests this week. Our much anticipated visit from some really good friends from London. Lady in particular is very excited; her best friend in the whole wide world is coming!
I must go help her now. She's a bit fed up with the boys and I just heard her say 'I think sisters are better than brothers.' Thomas answered 'I thinks sisters are pretty', which was very nice of him.
12 Oct 2006
You will...I won't
Lady and Thomas have been badgering me to get them a new baby brother or sister, in a similar way to how they'd ask for a new bicycle. Lady took Thomas to her room yesterday for some 'baby training'. They had the dolls out and were pretending to feed and change them, that way, they'd be able to help me when (their word) their new sibling arrives. Well, it's nice of them to make major life changing decisions for me isn't it!
Lady was also teaching Thomas about the solar system yesterday. We read part of a new book I found in the charity shop (great places those). It's called the Great Big Book of Knowledge and is full of facts. She loves it. She also did some French on the computer, and some writing. She did her maths and science -reproduction just happened to be the next topic on the CGP workbook we use, so that was very interesting!
Duncan played with trains, browsed BBC schools online, being very taken with this song especially, and he watched a few more Thomas films on YouTube. He enjoyed the film of Thomas set to Firestarter by The Prodigy, so that's music appreciation covered!
Duncan and I have a new game. He was quoting some Thomas the Tank lines one day, saying 'You will, I won't' which comes from a conversation between Edward and Thomas, or so he tells me! I joined in saying in a deep voice, 'You will', he laughed at me and answered, 'I won't!'
We repeated this a few times then I said, 'You can', he paused for a few seconds, then giggled and said, 'I can't'.
After a few more turns, I said, 'You do'....'I don't.'
'You are'...'I'm not.'
Last night Thomas woke up while we were all in bed and shouted out in fear from his bed. I hurried to comfort him, calling out as I went to reassure him. He told me that he was frightened of the spider on his bed. Earlier, there had been a big spider in Lady's room and I'd put it outside. I told him that it was definitely outside now so he wasn't to worry. He said 'OK, then I'll just go back to sleep' then lay right back down. It made me laugh how he went from terrified to fine so easily. Later though he called out again. This time he thought there was a lizard on his pillow! I said there were no lizards in our house and climbed up to hug him. I dusted some crumbs off the sheet and he said 'Oh, the crumbs must have been in the shape of a lizard then!' That's rationalisation Thomas style!
Just to note, while I was writing, Thomas came downstairs with his toothbrush and some 'adult' toothpaste. He wanted to use it to brush his teeth but wanted to know if it would make his nose go on fire (obviously Lady had warned him it had this side-effect!). I told him it was safe so he went off to brush. Duncan was at the time sitting beside me, but playing on the computer and apparently not listening at all. He turned to me, fixed me with that special look, thought hard and said, 'Thomas no fire on teeth, no fire on nose!'
So that's 2 autism myths busted right there! He's paying attention to his environment even when it appears he's not, and he empathises. You go my boy!
Lady was also teaching Thomas about the solar system yesterday. We read part of a new book I found in the charity shop (great places those). It's called the Great Big Book of Knowledge and is full of facts. She loves it. She also did some French on the computer, and some writing. She did her maths and science -reproduction just happened to be the next topic on the CGP workbook we use, so that was very interesting!
Duncan played with trains, browsed BBC schools online, being very taken with this song especially, and he watched a few more Thomas films on YouTube. He enjoyed the film of Thomas set to Firestarter by The Prodigy, so that's music appreciation covered!
Duncan and I have a new game. He was quoting some Thomas the Tank lines one day, saying 'You will, I won't' which comes from a conversation between Edward and Thomas, or so he tells me! I joined in saying in a deep voice, 'You will', he laughed at me and answered, 'I won't!'
We repeated this a few times then I said, 'You can', he paused for a few seconds, then giggled and said, 'I can't'.
After a few more turns, I said, 'You do'....'I don't.'
'You are'...'I'm not.'
Last night Thomas woke up while we were all in bed and shouted out in fear from his bed. I hurried to comfort him, calling out as I went to reassure him. He told me that he was frightened of the spider on his bed. Earlier, there had been a big spider in Lady's room and I'd put it outside. I told him that it was definitely outside now so he wasn't to worry. He said 'OK, then I'll just go back to sleep' then lay right back down. It made me laugh how he went from terrified to fine so easily. Later though he called out again. This time he thought there was a lizard on his pillow! I said there were no lizards in our house and climbed up to hug him. I dusted some crumbs off the sheet and he said 'Oh, the crumbs must have been in the shape of a lizard then!' That's rationalisation Thomas style!
Just to note, while I was writing, Thomas came downstairs with his toothbrush and some 'adult' toothpaste. He wanted to use it to brush his teeth but wanted to know if it would make his nose go on fire (obviously Lady had warned him it had this side-effect!). I told him it was safe so he went off to brush. Duncan was at the time sitting beside me, but playing on the computer and apparently not listening at all. He turned to me, fixed me with that special look, thought hard and said, 'Thomas no fire on teeth, no fire on nose!'
So that's 2 autism myths busted right there! He's paying attention to his environment even when it appears he's not, and he empathises. You go my boy!
10 Oct 2006
Magic and big questions
What a great day we had yesterday!
The boys came for a snuggle in my bed and Thomas and I played a game of sakes and ladders on my laptop. Straight after breakfast they gather round the computer to play the 'troll in the dungeon' game aka Timez Attack. Well, Lady played it and the boys looked on. It's good fun, and you have to answer multiplication sums to defeat the troll, so it's educational too. Honest, it is.
Later my friend D rang to say she could come over. Thomas and Lady overheard and were all excited; they love to have visitors. I told them that we'd be meeting the French boy who is staying with D's family for 6 months. Thomas immediately decided that he should be Lady's boyfriend. So they came over so we had a great gang of kids running round. We had a nice lunch together and it was a pleasure to meet the new arrival.
D had a tiny Mrs Incredible toy thingy attached to her mobile phone, which she'd placed on the high window sill in our kitchen. Obviously Duncan caught sight of this and went to have a closer look. He just calls Mrs Incredible 'woman'. D kindly gave him the tiny character; she knew it was just the kind of fiddly detailed thing he loves. He was delighted with it and played with 'woman' all day; singing to her and having her dance, making her run fast, then go slow, putting her inside trains and carriages, and just looking and looking, holding her right up to his right eye with his left eye closed.
Unfortunately, 'woman' wasn't designed for so much handling and by 7 o'clock, she'd been decapitated. Duncan brought her to me and asked me to 'fix it'. He looked at me intently, the way he does when he's trying to figure out how to communicate something new to him. He said 'woman's...' then paused, touched my neck, then said 'fix woman's...' so I filled in the gap, 'Fix the woman's neck'. 'Yes, fix woman's neck. Fix a head. Poor woman, poor head, poor neck. Woman go a hospital.'
What!!!!
He said all that!!! Yes, he sure did.
We had another visitor yesterday too. A woman just finishing her teacher training has come out to play with Duncan, via the NAS befriender scheme. She's been coming for a few weeks now and is making great friends with all the children. She plays chase and tickles with Duncan, chats with Lady and plays snakes and ladders with Thomas. Yesterday, Thomas showed off his (rather fine) trampoline moves, and she got on for a bounce with him. When she was leaving, Thomas begged her to stay for one more game. I told Thomas that M. had to meet her mother in town, 'and we don't want her Mummy left waiting for her.' Thomas saw the logic in that, 'Oh yes, 'cause her Mummy might be worried that she's been eaten by a monster!' I picked Duncan up to say goodbye to M too, he asked to kiss her! I told her she was highly privileged, I don't think he's ever asked to kiss anyone before, except immediate family. But then M is very attractive!
It's early, but so far today has been magical too. Duncan came into my bed at 7.30 and lay chatting to himself, 'summer, no summer, yes summer' then he asked about the 'woman' and the state of her neck, then he talked about Daddy. 'Daddy not go away, Daddy come back.' I assured him that Daddy would be back from England soon. Thomas joined us and started talking about feeding babies and why they drink mummy-milk and asked again how they're made. I told him about how they grow in the mummy's uterus. He asked how it gets started, yip he really did. I told him that there's a special sort of seed, a sperm, which joins the mummy's tiny egg and a baby starts to grow. He asked if we had any sperm in our house, I told him only Daddies have sperm, so he decided that after breakfast Daddy should give me some so we could get a baby. Oh lord. Sadly, Daddy's away right now!
Lady came in to join the throng, before we all got up for breakfast. It's a good job no-one's at school. I love our chilled mornings.
Right, time to get on with some stuff.
The boys came for a snuggle in my bed and Thomas and I played a game of sakes and ladders on my laptop. Straight after breakfast they gather round the computer to play the 'troll in the dungeon' game aka Timez Attack. Well, Lady played it and the boys looked on. It's good fun, and you have to answer multiplication sums to defeat the troll, so it's educational too. Honest, it is.
Later my friend D rang to say she could come over. Thomas and Lady overheard and were all excited; they love to have visitors. I told them that we'd be meeting the French boy who is staying with D's family for 6 months. Thomas immediately decided that he should be Lady's boyfriend. So they came over so we had a great gang of kids running round. We had a nice lunch together and it was a pleasure to meet the new arrival.
D had a tiny Mrs Incredible toy thingy attached to her mobile phone, which she'd placed on the high window sill in our kitchen. Obviously Duncan caught sight of this and went to have a closer look. He just calls Mrs Incredible 'woman'. D kindly gave him the tiny character; she knew it was just the kind of fiddly detailed thing he loves. He was delighted with it and played with 'woman' all day; singing to her and having her dance, making her run fast, then go slow, putting her inside trains and carriages, and just looking and looking, holding her right up to his right eye with his left eye closed.
Unfortunately, 'woman' wasn't designed for so much handling and by 7 o'clock, she'd been decapitated. Duncan brought her to me and asked me to 'fix it'. He looked at me intently, the way he does when he's trying to figure out how to communicate something new to him. He said 'woman's...' then paused, touched my neck, then said 'fix woman's...' so I filled in the gap, 'Fix the woman's neck'. 'Yes, fix woman's neck. Fix a head. Poor woman, poor head, poor neck. Woman go a hospital.'
What!!!!
He said all that!!! Yes, he sure did.
We had another visitor yesterday too. A woman just finishing her teacher training has come out to play with Duncan, via the NAS befriender scheme. She's been coming for a few weeks now and is making great friends with all the children. She plays chase and tickles with Duncan, chats with Lady and plays snakes and ladders with Thomas. Yesterday, Thomas showed off his (rather fine) trampoline moves, and she got on for a bounce with him. When she was leaving, Thomas begged her to stay for one more game. I told Thomas that M. had to meet her mother in town, 'and we don't want her Mummy left waiting for her.' Thomas saw the logic in that, 'Oh yes, 'cause her Mummy might be worried that she's been eaten by a monster!' I picked Duncan up to say goodbye to M too, he asked to kiss her! I told her she was highly privileged, I don't think he's ever asked to kiss anyone before, except immediate family. But then M is very attractive!
It's early, but so far today has been magical too. Duncan came into my bed at 7.30 and lay chatting to himself, 'summer, no summer, yes summer' then he asked about the 'woman' and the state of her neck, then he talked about Daddy. 'Daddy not go away, Daddy come back.' I assured him that Daddy would be back from England soon. Thomas joined us and started talking about feeding babies and why they drink mummy-milk and asked again how they're made. I told him about how they grow in the mummy's uterus. He asked how it gets started, yip he really did. I told him that there's a special sort of seed, a sperm, which joins the mummy's tiny egg and a baby starts to grow. He asked if we had any sperm in our house, I told him only Daddies have sperm, so he decided that after breakfast Daddy should give me some so we could get a baby. Oh lord. Sadly, Daddy's away right now!
Lady came in to join the throng, before we all got up for breakfast. It's a good job no-one's at school. I love our chilled mornings.
Right, time to get on with some stuff.
8 Oct 2006
What really matters
I have been feeling really pissed off this evening. I got involved in a local forum, where I felt duty bound to challenge a autism = horrible disease to be cured view, also charlatans like DAN practitioners were being heavily promoted. (Some USA residents have joined up now to tell all these Irish mums that their children are mercury poisoned, never mind that we never had mercury in any vaccines here...)I haven't done this personally much before and I found the experience of trying to converse with people denigrating the opinions of autistic people and twisting my words to make me appear to prescribe doing nothing to help children in need, wearying and depressing. I should be stronger and stand up to it, but I've had enough. I just want the warm embrace that comes from conversing with people who are on the same level as you, who can talk about people in a respectful and appreciative way, who can share my delight in all my children for their unique talents and personalities. I'm grateful for all the blogging Mums and Dads who also have one or more children who aren't standard issue, and who always talk of them with love and respect. I'm grateful for the Posautive YouTube group. It did my heart good to watch a few of those films tonight.
Also, I'm thinking about my children and how wonderful they are, and my husband who is like no-one else I know; cleverer, kinder, a bit eccentric, insightful, talented. He's gone away to a conference for a few nights so I'm a bit lonely too.
Bah, feck it. I know what matters, and it's not those folk.
Also, I'm thinking about my children and how wonderful they are, and my husband who is like no-one else I know; cleverer, kinder, a bit eccentric, insightful, talented. He's gone away to a conference for a few nights so I'm a bit lonely too.
Bah, feck it. I know what matters, and it's not those folk.
5 Oct 2006
Duncan's assessment
Gordon and I took Duncan along for a one-off speech and occupational therapy assessment session yesterday.
I'd been asked by the clinical psychologist I saw with him last March if I wanted this assessment. Again, I thought there would be little to gain by going, but I wanted to be able to write on his DLA application that we were waiting for the assessment. You need to have input from the professionals to get the benefits, and the money would all go into savings for him to use when he's older. (Although, we still haven't had a decision on the claim we made in June due to some cock-up in the benefit's office.)
So, the others were again sent off with a grandparent (Gordon's mum this time) and we set off. I'd drawn a little cartoon book for Duncan, showing that we were going to the 'nice hospital' (where you can play with all the toys) as opposed to the 'nasty hospital' (where they pull your teeth out ;-0).
The occupational therapist (OT) had set up a marble run and Duncan sat down and started playing with her right away while we talked to the speech therapist (ST). I had nothing but positives to report. They had a copy of his file from the OT and ST at his old school, and it's clear that he is much more capable than he was described on those old reports. I explained my methods of working and playing with him, using his interests (that'd be trains to anyone not in the know!) as a way of making all sorts of connections and discoveries. I told about his ability to type the train names on Google to find pictures, and how he'll get a book to copy the names he doesn't yet know how to spell. I told how he knows that even when he's looking for pictures of 'James', he needs to type 'James Thomas Tank' to narrow the search criteria. He did a few picture puzzles, and named the objects. he picked up all the marbles and puzzle pieces when requested to and packed them away. He drew pictures of me and his dad, giving Gordon a nice head of curly hair! He was focused and happy. They had him do a game in which he lay on a skateboard on his tummy, went down a small ramp, them got off the board, picked up a picture of some clothing (i.e. 'red hat') from a selection spread out and put it on a picture of a boy. I couldn't see the point of the exercise, and neither could Duncan. He enjoyed rolling down the ramp though, letting Brio Percy freewheel in front of him! He did the picture things though, so he could go back for another go down the slope.
In all, it was clear to them that he was thriving, they couldn't really think of anything else to recommend. Gordon was impressed with me. He saw that this is what I do. There is a point to all this reading about autism. It helps me know better how Duncan is thinking, what his motivations are, what the potential pitfalls are and gives me ideas and strategies to adopt.
We still have problems to tackle, it's far from being all rosy round here. There are the tantrums, the shouting and crying when he wants something that I can't or won't give him. But I can re-direct him much more often now. It's tiring some times; when he's at his most challenging and the very noise he's making is grinding me down, then I have to be at my most imaginative and (when appropriate) playful.
The Voyage is ongoing, but now we have much better charts, and the crew are gaining more experience as time passes too.
I'd been asked by the clinical psychologist I saw with him last March if I wanted this assessment. Again, I thought there would be little to gain by going, but I wanted to be able to write on his DLA application that we were waiting for the assessment. You need to have input from the professionals to get the benefits, and the money would all go into savings for him to use when he's older. (Although, we still haven't had a decision on the claim we made in June due to some cock-up in the benefit's office.)
So, the others were again sent off with a grandparent (Gordon's mum this time) and we set off. I'd drawn a little cartoon book for Duncan, showing that we were going to the 'nice hospital' (where you can play with all the toys) as opposed to the 'nasty hospital' (where they pull your teeth out ;-0).
The occupational therapist (OT) had set up a marble run and Duncan sat down and started playing with her right away while we talked to the speech therapist (ST). I had nothing but positives to report. They had a copy of his file from the OT and ST at his old school, and it's clear that he is much more capable than he was described on those old reports. I explained my methods of working and playing with him, using his interests (that'd be trains to anyone not in the know!) as a way of making all sorts of connections and discoveries. I told about his ability to type the train names on Google to find pictures, and how he'll get a book to copy the names he doesn't yet know how to spell. I told how he knows that even when he's looking for pictures of 'James', he needs to type 'James Thomas Tank' to narrow the search criteria. He did a few picture puzzles, and named the objects. he picked up all the marbles and puzzle pieces when requested to and packed them away. He drew pictures of me and his dad, giving Gordon a nice head of curly hair! He was focused and happy. They had him do a game in which he lay on a skateboard on his tummy, went down a small ramp, them got off the board, picked up a picture of some clothing (i.e. 'red hat') from a selection spread out and put it on a picture of a boy. I couldn't see the point of the exercise, and neither could Duncan. He enjoyed rolling down the ramp though, letting Brio Percy freewheel in front of him! He did the picture things though, so he could go back for another go down the slope.
In all, it was clear to them that he was thriving, they couldn't really think of anything else to recommend. Gordon was impressed with me. He saw that this is what I do. There is a point to all this reading about autism. It helps me know better how Duncan is thinking, what his motivations are, what the potential pitfalls are and gives me ideas and strategies to adopt.
We still have problems to tackle, it's far from being all rosy round here. There are the tantrums, the shouting and crying when he wants something that I can't or won't give him. But I can re-direct him much more often now. It's tiring some times; when he's at his most challenging and the very noise he's making is grinding me down, then I have to be at my most imaginative and (when appropriate) playful.
The Voyage is ongoing, but now we have much better charts, and the crew are gaining more experience as time passes too.
Totally Thomas
This boy is so cute.
He has been interested in writing letters to people lately; his cousins, aunts and uncles and our friends who came to stay from England a few weeks ago. Right now he's writing one to our friend Debs! These missives consist of his name written in capital letters (always capitals!) on one side of a folded piece of paper, then the proposed recipient's name spelt phonetically by himself and written with reference to an alphabet book. He asks for my help for those difficult 'letters' he can't find in the book, like GR and SH! Running out of space isn't a problem either, one merely continues writing the remaining letters above the earlier ones.
He's still a big fan of snakes and ladders and engages all our visitors in a quick game. He also enjoys 'pludo' (more commonly known as Ludo). He does his 'computer work' every day, which involves playing a Thomas the Tank CD-ROM or his favourite, Jojo in Numberland. This is aimed at children older than him but he can do the whole thing. He loves counting and sorting. He'll spend ages looking at a number square or tape measure. It's amazing seeing how much he just learns in that 'soaking it up from the atmosphere' way!
Gordon was watching TV the other night and after an ad for Tesco came on, with voice-over provided by Ronnie Corbett, he remarked on how Thomas is a bit like Mr Corbett. And he is! He tells funny stories with a totally straight face, earlier he told me about a dream he had in which he, Lady and their little cousin were in their Granda's car when they fell into some lava. Another day, he told me about his dream that he was at the South Pole and a penguin kissed him.
On Sunday, my youngest brother, his girlfriend and their delightful daughter (also 4) were round with Daddy and my step mum. We all had a nice time and it's so good to see them as we live so far apart.
He has been interested in writing letters to people lately; his cousins, aunts and uncles and our friends who came to stay from England a few weeks ago. Right now he's writing one to our friend Debs! These missives consist of his name written in capital letters (always capitals!) on one side of a folded piece of paper, then the proposed recipient's name spelt phonetically by himself and written with reference to an alphabet book. He asks for my help for those difficult 'letters' he can't find in the book, like GR and SH! Running out of space isn't a problem either, one merely continues writing the remaining letters above the earlier ones.
He's still a big fan of snakes and ladders and engages all our visitors in a quick game. He also enjoys 'pludo' (more commonly known as Ludo). He does his 'computer work' every day, which involves playing a Thomas the Tank CD-ROM or his favourite, Jojo in Numberland. This is aimed at children older than him but he can do the whole thing. He loves counting and sorting. He'll spend ages looking at a number square or tape measure. It's amazing seeing how much he just learns in that 'soaking it up from the atmosphere' way!
Gordon was watching TV the other night and after an ad for Tesco came on, with voice-over provided by Ronnie Corbett, he remarked on how Thomas is a bit like Mr Corbett. And he is! He tells funny stories with a totally straight face, earlier he told me about a dream he had in which he, Lady and their little cousin were in their Granda's car when they fell into some lava. Another day, he told me about his dream that he was at the South Pole and a penguin kissed him.
On Sunday, my youngest brother, his girlfriend and their delightful daughter (also 4) were round with Daddy and my step mum. We all had a nice time and it's so good to see them as we live so far apart.
29 Sept 2006
Extraction
The bad tooth came out today. We were nervous about how it would go, but tried to prepare Duncan as much as possible. I'd made a little book about it, showing how we'd end with a trip to the toy shop, so he knew there would be something to look forward to. We'd practised putting an imaginary mask on our faces, and we had taken a hospital identity bracelet home to play with.
Gordon dropped me and Duncan off at the children's hospital, then left Lady and Thomas with my dad and step mum. As soon as we arrived in the waiting room, we were shown to the ward, where a bed was prepared for Duncan. There was a portable DVD player, with a Thomas film already going, and a selection of Thomas books and toys. Gordon had briefly mentioned to the nurse on Monday, how Duncan likes trains. The other families all remained in the waiting room. Duncan was happy and relaxed, holding his new Brio Percy toy train (which I'd ordered from Ebay, and had thankfully arrived the previous day). The anaesthetist talked to me about the option of administering a mild sedative, and we decided to opt for this. So just 5 minutes before he was due to go into theatre, the nurse gave me a spoonful of Nurofen, with a small quantity of ketamine, and Duncan took it without too much trouble. Then he was wheeled in on the bed to theatre. I held him on my lap while the anaesthetist gave him the nitrous oxide. That was difficult. He struggled when the gas started to flow, but I'd been warned just in time and was able to hold him for the few seconds it took to take effect. He drifted off so quickly, was put on the trolley and we went out to wait. I was tearful at that stage, seeing him struggle, then so helpless was distressing. About a minute later, the dentist who wasn't operating came out to say he'd had just one tooth extracted (already!) and after a few more minutes, we went back to the ward where we was already awake. He was disoriented, upset, bleeding slightly in his mouth and thirsty. I cuddled him, he had some juice, and more quickly than I could have imagined he settled again in my arms. He started asking for his Brio Percy. We couldn't find it, though he'd been holding it as he went to theatre, and the nurse remembered putting it on the trolley. Everyone started looking all over for it; they all recognised how important it was to Duncan. But we just couldn't find it and Duncan was most upset. We had to leave, though the nurse promised to have a good look for it again later, and to let the cleaners know to keep an eye out also. She told me that if it didn't turn up, she had one at home that her sons didn't play with much, and she'd send it to us. How nice is that?! But while we were waiting outside for my dad to pick us up, Gordon was called on his mobile; the train had been found, wedged in the trolley wheel! Hurrah!
We made a quick trip to the toy shop to buy a Thomas Aqua Draw, then on to the apartment for some bacon rolls, before Gordon went to work and the rest of us came home.
Duncan was sleepy and quiet. After playing with Lady and Thomas for a while, he started to get a bit cross, so I took him upstairs to lie down with me for an hour in my bed. We had a nice snuggle, and Brio Percy was rolled up and down my shoulder. He just jumped up again, wanting a drink.
Lady and Thomas have been great throughout all these events. They love going to visit their grandparents, in fact, when I woke Lady early today, she said, 'Oh fantastic, this is the best day of my life since I went to Jamaica, or since Duncan and Thomas were born!' She does go in for hyperbole! She also wanted to see the damaged tooth, and reckons the tooth-fairy will throw it on the reject pile.
Thomas was worried about Duncan when I told him what was going on. He said, 'I don't want my brother to be sick.' Wee sweetheart.
As on Monday, my dad and step mum were amazing. There were a few posts on the hub recently about wonderful, understanding and helpful grandparents. I can totally identify with that. My dad and Duncan have a really special bond. He knows exactly how to engage him and as soon as they got together, they start playing. Dad revels in Duncan's achievements, and tells everyone about all the funny and clever little things he does and says, just as he does for his other 7 grandchildren. That love is returned as all the children adore him too.
Gordon dropped me and Duncan off at the children's hospital, then left Lady and Thomas with my dad and step mum. As soon as we arrived in the waiting room, we were shown to the ward, where a bed was prepared for Duncan. There was a portable DVD player, with a Thomas film already going, and a selection of Thomas books and toys. Gordon had briefly mentioned to the nurse on Monday, how Duncan likes trains. The other families all remained in the waiting room. Duncan was happy and relaxed, holding his new Brio Percy toy train (which I'd ordered from Ebay, and had thankfully arrived the previous day). The anaesthetist talked to me about the option of administering a mild sedative, and we decided to opt for this. So just 5 minutes before he was due to go into theatre, the nurse gave me a spoonful of Nurofen, with a small quantity of ketamine, and Duncan took it without too much trouble. Then he was wheeled in on the bed to theatre. I held him on my lap while the anaesthetist gave him the nitrous oxide. That was difficult. He struggled when the gas started to flow, but I'd been warned just in time and was able to hold him for the few seconds it took to take effect. He drifted off so quickly, was put on the trolley and we went out to wait. I was tearful at that stage, seeing him struggle, then so helpless was distressing. About a minute later, the dentist who wasn't operating came out to say he'd had just one tooth extracted (already!) and after a few more minutes, we went back to the ward where we was already awake. He was disoriented, upset, bleeding slightly in his mouth and thirsty. I cuddled him, he had some juice, and more quickly than I could have imagined he settled again in my arms. He started asking for his Brio Percy. We couldn't find it, though he'd been holding it as he went to theatre, and the nurse remembered putting it on the trolley. Everyone started looking all over for it; they all recognised how important it was to Duncan. But we just couldn't find it and Duncan was most upset. We had to leave, though the nurse promised to have a good look for it again later, and to let the cleaners know to keep an eye out also. She told me that if it didn't turn up, she had one at home that her sons didn't play with much, and she'd send it to us. How nice is that?! But while we were waiting outside for my dad to pick us up, Gordon was called on his mobile; the train had been found, wedged in the trolley wheel! Hurrah!
We made a quick trip to the toy shop to buy a Thomas Aqua Draw, then on to the apartment for some bacon rolls, before Gordon went to work and the rest of us came home.
Duncan was sleepy and quiet. After playing with Lady and Thomas for a while, he started to get a bit cross, so I took him upstairs to lie down with me for an hour in my bed. We had a nice snuggle, and Brio Percy was rolled up and down my shoulder. He just jumped up again, wanting a drink.
Lady and Thomas have been great throughout all these events. They love going to visit their grandparents, in fact, when I woke Lady early today, she said, 'Oh fantastic, this is the best day of my life since I went to Jamaica, or since Duncan and Thomas were born!' She does go in for hyperbole! She also wanted to see the damaged tooth, and reckons the tooth-fairy will throw it on the reject pile.
Thomas was worried about Duncan when I told him what was going on. He said, 'I don't want my brother to be sick.' Wee sweetheart.
As on Monday, my dad and step mum were amazing. There were a few posts on the hub recently about wonderful, understanding and helpful grandparents. I can totally identify with that. My dad and Duncan have a really special bond. He knows exactly how to engage him and as soon as they got together, they start playing. Dad revels in Duncan's achievements, and tells everyone about all the funny and clever little things he does and says, just as he does for his other 7 grandchildren. That love is returned as all the children adore him too.
26 Sept 2006
More on dentists
We managed to get a pediatrician to examine Duncan today at the children's hospital dental department. It was awful and wonderful. Duncan was highly stressed and didn't want to go into any of the rooms. He just kept shouting out, saying he wanted a 'Brio Percy' (his latest train request) and I was desperately and uselessly trying to distract and entertain him. We were asked into the examination room very shortly after arriving, and I had to prise is fingers from the doorway, so adamant was he that he wasn't going in. He was literally terrified. I held him on my knee and the doctor was able to stick the little mirror into his open mouth and in less than 30 seconds had seen enough to know what treatment was needed. By this stage I was actually in tears, so I took Duncan into the corridor while Gordon had a quick word with the doctor. I was feeling a bit embarrassed (with myself) and very, very sorry for my poor boy. He was crying, telling me he was so sad, shouting out that he was finished. I started spelling out train names on an alphabet poster on the wall as I sat on the floor holding him. He noticed what I was doing and helped me finish a few words and was then over the outburst.
Now I said earlier that it was also wonderful. What I mean is, the staff were amazing. They were so understanding. It turns out that Duncan's molar is dodgy, it developed incorrectly, but it isn't decayed and the rest of his teeth are in excellent condition. He does need an extraction though, and he has been fitted into their Friday list which is excellent. The doctor assured us that Duncan would be seen first (as usually there can be a 1 or 2 hour wait) and to cut back on the hassle on the day, Gordon was able to fill in most of the nursing paperwork today (after Duncan had calmed down and was happily eating nuts and watching TV in the waiting room) and he will not be put through a further examination, which usually takes place before the procedure. We need to arrive at 8am, he should be seen at around 9 and we were told we'd be leaving at 9.15. I felt close to tears again when I saw how much they were willing to do to cause as little trauma to Duncan as possible. Gordon was moved by their caring attitude too. Duncan wasn't impressed though; when the consultant came to talk to us in the waiting room, Duncan put his hands over his ears and very directly told him to go away.
While we were at the hospital, Lady and Thomas were being looked after by my dad and step mum, who live close to the hospital. The children all love going there to visit and having an appreciative audience to show off to. Thomas took a few dressing up clothes and his trusty snakes and ladders board. My dad is so helpful. He dropped us off at the hospital and picked us up again to save us needing to find a parking space, then (after we'd all eaten some of their delicious home-made vegetable soup) he drove Gordon back to his hospital as he had to go back to work.
It's all rather stressful and I'm dreading Friday, because no matter what, it is going to be hard on him. But we'll get through it together. He's a tough boy. He's my darling angel, who right now, is lying beside me on my bed, having just fallen asleep with his arm around me as I've been typing.
Now I said earlier that it was also wonderful. What I mean is, the staff were amazing. They were so understanding. It turns out that Duncan's molar is dodgy, it developed incorrectly, but it isn't decayed and the rest of his teeth are in excellent condition. He does need an extraction though, and he has been fitted into their Friday list which is excellent. The doctor assured us that Duncan would be seen first (as usually there can be a 1 or 2 hour wait) and to cut back on the hassle on the day, Gordon was able to fill in most of the nursing paperwork today (after Duncan had calmed down and was happily eating nuts and watching TV in the waiting room) and he will not be put through a further examination, which usually takes place before the procedure. We need to arrive at 8am, he should be seen at around 9 and we were told we'd be leaving at 9.15. I felt close to tears again when I saw how much they were willing to do to cause as little trauma to Duncan as possible. Gordon was moved by their caring attitude too. Duncan wasn't impressed though; when the consultant came to talk to us in the waiting room, Duncan put his hands over his ears and very directly told him to go away.
While we were at the hospital, Lady and Thomas were being looked after by my dad and step mum, who live close to the hospital. The children all love going there to visit and having an appreciative audience to show off to. Thomas took a few dressing up clothes and his trusty snakes and ladders board. My dad is so helpful. He dropped us off at the hospital and picked us up again to save us needing to find a parking space, then (after we'd all eaten some of their delicious home-made vegetable soup) he drove Gordon back to his hospital as he had to go back to work.
It's all rather stressful and I'm dreading Friday, because no matter what, it is going to be hard on him. But we'll get through it together. He's a tough boy. He's my darling angel, who right now, is lying beside me on my bed, having just fallen asleep with his arm around me as I've been typing.
25 Sept 2006
Duncan's dental situation; Part 2
Thanks everyone for sharing your advice and experiences in reply to my last post about Duncan's teeth. It's one of his baby teeth that's been affected and we've been told that for first teeth, only extractions are performed under GA. We are hoping to get him dealt with in the next few days. He will definitely need a GA, it would be much too frightening for him to have the procedure under local anaesthetic. Thankfully, all our medical needs are met by the NHS, so I don't need to worry about insurance, and the local children's department is excellent.
Poor Duncan has been very unwell over the past 3 days, with a slight fever, pain in the tooth and swelling in his jaw. I tried to give him some ibuprofen with limited success at first. He hates taking medicine, so I had to hide it in his drink and get the medicine:juice ratio just right. For 2 nights he cried and whimpered in pain almost all night, and I had to lie right beside him. He was so confused by the whole experience that he didn't know where to put himself and flitted from one bed to another, desperately trying to get comfortable. Last night, I managed to give him a bigger dose of pain killer before bed and he slept right through. I'm glad to see that the swelling has reduced a bit too.
As usual when he's ill, he is very cuddly, and lies beside me or on my lap and gets upset when I leave his side. Yesterday he was feeling well enough to play with his trains and watch Thomas films on YouTube. Gordon spent the morning fixing Lady's computer which I had messed up completely by deleting a system file, then trying to fix it using a Windows disk I found lying around and then I ...well, I just cocked the whole thing up and he had quite a job sorting it all out from scratch. Afterwards, Lady spent ages playing with a French CDROM. Perhaps she's trying to learn a some French for when we meet up with our HE friends and their long-term guest. Thomas and Lady spent ages on the trampoline yesterday too. They are both very good on it. Thomas can do all sorts of fancy manoeuvres. I must see if I can get him into a gymnastics class or something, if he's old enough. I think he'd enjoy that.
While the children were all occupied yesterday afternoon, I started teaching Gordon some of the Salsa moves I'd learnt at my class. He was doing great at the end and the magical music by the Afro-Cuban All Stars helped. His Jamaican and Cuban roots were certainly in evidence!
It did me the world of good too, since I'd been feeling bad about Duncan and my liability in what happening to him. I also have been reading too much stuff about autism in the media, and that's always guaranteed to wind me up since there's so much balderdash printed. Though I read a lovely article today which counters the prevailing attitude; Understanding Autism by Kevin Leitch. I hope lots of people see it and reconsider what ideas they might have formed about autism.
Poor Duncan has been very unwell over the past 3 days, with a slight fever, pain in the tooth and swelling in his jaw. I tried to give him some ibuprofen with limited success at first. He hates taking medicine, so I had to hide it in his drink and get the medicine:juice ratio just right. For 2 nights he cried and whimpered in pain almost all night, and I had to lie right beside him. He was so confused by the whole experience that he didn't know where to put himself and flitted from one bed to another, desperately trying to get comfortable. Last night, I managed to give him a bigger dose of pain killer before bed and he slept right through. I'm glad to see that the swelling has reduced a bit too.
As usual when he's ill, he is very cuddly, and lies beside me or on my lap and gets upset when I leave his side. Yesterday he was feeling well enough to play with his trains and watch Thomas films on YouTube. Gordon spent the morning fixing Lady's computer which I had messed up completely by deleting a system file, then trying to fix it using a Windows disk I found lying around and then I ...well, I just cocked the whole thing up and he had quite a job sorting it all out from scratch. Afterwards, Lady spent ages playing with a French CDROM. Perhaps she's trying to learn a some French for when we meet up with our HE friends and their long-term guest. Thomas and Lady spent ages on the trampoline yesterday too. They are both very good on it. Thomas can do all sorts of fancy manoeuvres. I must see if I can get him into a gymnastics class or something, if he's old enough. I think he'd enjoy that.
While the children were all occupied yesterday afternoon, I started teaching Gordon some of the Salsa moves I'd learnt at my class. He was doing great at the end and the magical music by the Afro-Cuban All Stars helped. His Jamaican and Cuban roots were certainly in evidence!
It did me the world of good too, since I'd been feeling bad about Duncan and my liability in what happening to him. I also have been reading too much stuff about autism in the media, and that's always guaranteed to wind me up since there's so much balderdash printed. Though I read a lovely article today which counters the prevailing attitude; Understanding Autism by Kevin Leitch. I hope lots of people see it and reconsider what ideas they might have formed about autism.
22 Sept 2006
Duncan's Dental Crisis
I noticed that Duncan was poking in his mouth a lot over the past few days, chewing his clothes and mouthing toys. When I looked at his teeth this morning, I thought the tooth was cracked. I called the community dentist and managed to get an emergency appointment. She was very accommodating, and Duncan was frightened at first, but we managed, with him sitting on my lap, to allow the dentist to have a good look round his mouth. It turns out that one of his molars is decayed.
He will need either a filling or to have the molar removed. I think it would be less invasive if he had a filling. However, there is no way he could have the procedure under local anaesthetic, so he will need a general anaesthetic, or to be sedated.
I'm worried about the risks here.
I'd like to know, if anyone has any advice they could share on similar experiences they or their children have had.
There's always something.
He will need either a filling or to have the molar removed. I think it would be less invasive if he had a filling. However, there is no way he could have the procedure under local anaesthetic, so he will need a general anaesthetic, or to be sedated.
I'm worried about the risks here.
I'd like to know, if anyone has any advice they could share on similar experiences they or their children have had.
There's always something.
21 Sept 2006
Our friends come to stay
We've had friends over to stay for the past few days and it has been marvellous.
I'm just going to name them (for blog purposes) Belle and Sid, and their children, Edward and Emily. Their real names are, as always, much nicer!
Belle and I were at UCL together, we met on the first day of classes and have been friends ever since. (I was going to write 'studied together', but since we did as little of that as possible, I thought it would be dishonest!) She is smart, funny, passionate and compassionate, and happens to be beautiful too. She was my second bridesmaid 10 years ago, then she married a wonderful man 5 years ago. They now have 2 gorgeous children aged 3 (almost 4) and 1 (almost 2). We now live on either side of the Irish Sea, so we were delighted when they announced they would be coming to visit us.
They arrived on Sunday afternoon, and straight away the children went off together to play. Thankfully, Edward loves trains as much as my children, so he was perfectly happy. Little Emily stayed safe in her Daddy's arms for a while, and when she was ready, she went off with Lady to play in the garden. She liked the guinea pigs, especially Daisy, and busied herself feeding them grass. The children all bundled along together for the 3 days they were here, sometimes building tracks, sometimes watching TV, sometimes playing outside. Lady and Edward invented a game in which they were secret agents protecting a precious ruby. Belle was amazed at how seldom she even saw her son; he was too busy doing his own thing with his friends.
We went on outings to the transport museum and W5, 2 places our family visits often. Our guests were very impressed and everyone really enjoyed themselves. Gordon joined us on our trip to W5, and we all ate at the pizza restaurant. That occasion was the 1st time our whole family has ever sat down to eat together in a restaurant, and it was a most successful meal.
Each night, when the children had all gone to bed, we adults sat and enjoyed a lovely meal courtesy of Gordon's great cooking skills. I usually provided desert and bread. We so enjoyed our time together. They left for the airport yesterday afternoon, and we were sad to see them go. It was a special time. Belle is one of the 3 people I miss the most since moving back to Ireland.
Duncan was perfectly happy dealing with extra people in the house. He just carried on as usual and enjoyed having a few more adults to tickle and cuddle him.
I'm just going to name them (for blog purposes) Belle and Sid, and their children, Edward and Emily. Their real names are, as always, much nicer!
Belle and I were at UCL together, we met on the first day of classes and have been friends ever since. (I was going to write 'studied together', but since we did as little of that as possible, I thought it would be dishonest!) She is smart, funny, passionate and compassionate, and happens to be beautiful too. She was my second bridesmaid 10 years ago, then she married a wonderful man 5 years ago. They now have 2 gorgeous children aged 3 (almost 4) and 1 (almost 2). We now live on either side of the Irish Sea, so we were delighted when they announced they would be coming to visit us.
They arrived on Sunday afternoon, and straight away the children went off together to play. Thankfully, Edward loves trains as much as my children, so he was perfectly happy. Little Emily stayed safe in her Daddy's arms for a while, and when she was ready, she went off with Lady to play in the garden. She liked the guinea pigs, especially Daisy, and busied herself feeding them grass. The children all bundled along together for the 3 days they were here, sometimes building tracks, sometimes watching TV, sometimes playing outside. Lady and Edward invented a game in which they were secret agents protecting a precious ruby. Belle was amazed at how seldom she even saw her son; he was too busy doing his own thing with his friends.
We went on outings to the transport museum and W5, 2 places our family visits often. Our guests were very impressed and everyone really enjoyed themselves. Gordon joined us on our trip to W5, and we all ate at the pizza restaurant. That occasion was the 1st time our whole family has ever sat down to eat together in a restaurant, and it was a most successful meal.
Each night, when the children had all gone to bed, we adults sat and enjoyed a lovely meal courtesy of Gordon's great cooking skills. I usually provided desert and bread. We so enjoyed our time together. They left for the airport yesterday afternoon, and we were sad to see them go. It was a special time. Belle is one of the 3 people I miss the most since moving back to Ireland.
Duncan was perfectly happy dealing with extra people in the house. He just carried on as usual and enjoyed having a few more adults to tickle and cuddle him.
15 Sept 2006
No indeed
We had another day out at W5 yesterday, meeting with a few other HE families. As ever when we're there, we spent most of our time in the section with the huge wooden train set, the balls and water splashy area, and the house construction play area (complete with a crane and foam bricks). Lady and her friend J went off together around rest of the centre.
Duncan tried to grab the controls for the crane from another little boy, about 2 years old, who was not happy about this interruption and bit Duncan hard on his arm. His mother was affronted and apologised as I comforted Duncan, who was upset but not crying.
We all headed to the pizza restaurant for a noisy lunch. Lady ate loads, I can't believe the appetite that girl has sometimes. But she is always on the move too, so is lean and strong. Duncan ate some ice-cream, scooping it up with some toy chattering teeth Lady had just bought him. He was all excited about the purchase of 'false teeth'; he's had a thing about false teeth for a while now.
When Gordon came home, I asked Duncan to tell him what the 'naughty boy' had done in W5. Duncan said, 'naughty boy, bite' then demonstrated on his own arm. He showed Gordon where the injury was (there's a small bruise). We were happy that he was able to tell a story about some previous event, as he hasn't done that before.
There have been new additions to Duncan's repertoire of language. It might seem that I'm perseverating on this topic, but I find it helpful to record it here.
On Wednesday, in reply to something I asked (don't remember what) he responded with 'No indeed'!
When Gordon asked him last night as he was going to bed 'do you love me?' he replied, after thinking for a few seconds, 'yes I love you.' Gordon said, 'do I love you', some more thought, then the answer, 'yes, you love me.' That was the 1st time ever he used you, me and I correctly in such a sentence. What a star!
The other new phrase, is 'yes, I am' which is used interchangeably with his other mode of assent.
I love seeing this progression; unforced, unhurried - natural.
Duncan tried to grab the controls for the crane from another little boy, about 2 years old, who was not happy about this interruption and bit Duncan hard on his arm. His mother was affronted and apologised as I comforted Duncan, who was upset but not crying.
We all headed to the pizza restaurant for a noisy lunch. Lady ate loads, I can't believe the appetite that girl has sometimes. But she is always on the move too, so is lean and strong. Duncan ate some ice-cream, scooping it up with some toy chattering teeth Lady had just bought him. He was all excited about the purchase of 'false teeth'; he's had a thing about false teeth for a while now.
When Gordon came home, I asked Duncan to tell him what the 'naughty boy' had done in W5. Duncan said, 'naughty boy, bite' then demonstrated on his own arm. He showed Gordon where the injury was (there's a small bruise). We were happy that he was able to tell a story about some previous event, as he hasn't done that before.
There have been new additions to Duncan's repertoire of language. It might seem that I'm perseverating on this topic, but I find it helpful to record it here.
On Wednesday, in reply to something I asked (don't remember what) he responded with 'No indeed'!
When Gordon asked him last night as he was going to bed 'do you love me?' he replied, after thinking for a few seconds, 'yes I love you.' Gordon said, 'do I love you', some more thought, then the answer, 'yes, you love me.' That was the 1st time ever he used you, me and I correctly in such a sentence. What a star!
The other new phrase, is 'yes, I am' which is used interchangeably with his other mode of assent.
I love seeing this progression; unforced, unhurried - natural.
11 Sept 2006
Yes, I love you!
Duncan is talking a bit more these days. When you ask him if he wants something, he'll answer with either yes or no thanks, followed by the subject of the question. So I might ask if he wants some soup; 'no thanks, soup', or if I ask if will say goodbye to Daddy when he's going to work, he says 'yes, bye-bye Daddy.' He also uses this when he doesn't want to do something, so I might ask him to tidy his trains at night, and he says 'no thanks, trains in box.' It's such a polite way to refuse!
There was an incident yesterday when Gordon, Thomas and Lady returned from the shop. Duncan was crying and stopping them from opening the front door, because he wanted a new toy train, and I think that he knew they wouldn't have it and wanted to put off the certainty of dealing with his disappointment for as long as possible. Anyway, he tantrumed, everyone was cross about all the noise and fuss and for a while I felt so overloaded myself that I started to cry for a few minutes. Duncan was sitting right beside me at that point, and was crying himself, but he immediately noticed what I was doing, he stared into my eyes and started stroking me and kissing me in a most concerned manner saying 'kiss it better' over and over. He said, 'Duncan so sad, Mummy happy.' And he did make me happy again.
Later, the children all had a bath (and played with the new squeezy Thomas bath-toy) before bed. Duncan was tired and wanted to lie in my bed for a while. I tucked him in, and hugged him tight, saying 'I love you', he spontaneously responded with, 'yes, I love you.' Then he said 'Mummy cuddle Duncan.' So I did, but not how he wanted, so he clarified, 'Mummy and Duncan lie down, Mummy's bed' So I lay beside him for a few minutes to hug him properly.
This morning, Thomas had a request with his morning cuddle, 'Mummy, will you buy me a baby sister?' I laughed, then asked him if he knew where babies comes from, and he said that they grow in my broom!
There was an incident yesterday when Gordon, Thomas and Lady returned from the shop. Duncan was crying and stopping them from opening the front door, because he wanted a new toy train, and I think that he knew they wouldn't have it and wanted to put off the certainty of dealing with his disappointment for as long as possible. Anyway, he tantrumed, everyone was cross about all the noise and fuss and for a while I felt so overloaded myself that I started to cry for a few minutes. Duncan was sitting right beside me at that point, and was crying himself, but he immediately noticed what I was doing, he stared into my eyes and started stroking me and kissing me in a most concerned manner saying 'kiss it better' over and over. He said, 'Duncan so sad, Mummy happy.' And he did make me happy again.
Later, the children all had a bath (and played with the new squeezy Thomas bath-toy) before bed. Duncan was tired and wanted to lie in my bed for a while. I tucked him in, and hugged him tight, saying 'I love you', he spontaneously responded with, 'yes, I love you.' Then he said 'Mummy cuddle Duncan.' So I did, but not how he wanted, so he clarified, 'Mummy and Duncan lie down, Mummy's bed' So I lay beside him for a few minutes to hug him properly.
This morning, Thomas had a request with his morning cuddle, 'Mummy, will you buy me a baby sister?' I laughed, then asked him if he knew where babies comes from, and he said that they grow in my broom!
10 Sept 2006
Fine as we are
The house is relatively quiet right now, as Gordon has taken Lady and Thomas out shopping. Duncan is sitting on the floor beside me playing with, well would you believe it, he's got the trains out!
We haven't done anything remarkable since Friday, when I took the children to a big playground not far from here, and we met up with a few other families whose children learn out of school. It was a lovely sunny day and they all had a great time. I was required to play several games of 'chase-kiss' with Duncan, so I had my work-out too!
A few times, I felt it was necessary to explain Duncan's actions or limited verbal understanding to other adults there. He wasn't doing anything wrong at these times, as he was actually on great form. I wondered if I should get him something visible (like a T-shirt with a message or a badge) that would explain in a non-condescending or pitiful way, that he won't understand them if they start jabbering away to him; especially for those times when I'm not right there. I don't mind telling people he is autistic. (Though I have problems with saying it when his behaviour is poor, as then it would just reinforce people's negative perceptions. For example, when he has a tantrum in public, I rarely make eye contact with people around us; I just shut them out and concentrate on Duncan and his needs.) Anyway, I don't know if it would be a good idea or not.
Thomas would have started school this term had he been going. Compulsory education here (not schooling mind) starts the autumn after the child turns 4. So what are we doing about this- well nothing. What happens right now works well,. The boy is happy and learning loads in his own way. Why mess with the perfect recipe!
Just to finish, I wanted to note, that right now, Duncan is engaged in his favourite pass-time, watching Thomas themed YouTube videos. He's found a corker; Thomas meets 50 Cent!) It's better on this site though, with cleaned up lyrics and all.
Go Thomas, like it's your birthday!
We haven't done anything remarkable since Friday, when I took the children to a big playground not far from here, and we met up with a few other families whose children learn out of school. It was a lovely sunny day and they all had a great time. I was required to play several games of 'chase-kiss' with Duncan, so I had my work-out too!
A few times, I felt it was necessary to explain Duncan's actions or limited verbal understanding to other adults there. He wasn't doing anything wrong at these times, as he was actually on great form. I wondered if I should get him something visible (like a T-shirt with a message or a badge) that would explain in a non-condescending or pitiful way, that he won't understand them if they start jabbering away to him; especially for those times when I'm not right there. I don't mind telling people he is autistic. (Though I have problems with saying it when his behaviour is poor, as then it would just reinforce people's negative perceptions. For example, when he has a tantrum in public, I rarely make eye contact with people around us; I just shut them out and concentrate on Duncan and his needs.) Anyway, I don't know if it would be a good idea or not.
Thomas would have started school this term had he been going. Compulsory education here (not schooling mind) starts the autumn after the child turns 4. So what are we doing about this- well nothing. What happens right now works well,. The boy is happy and learning loads in his own way. Why mess with the perfect recipe!
Just to finish, I wanted to note, that right now, Duncan is engaged in his favourite pass-time, watching Thomas themed YouTube videos. He's found a corker; Thomas meets 50 Cent!) It's better on this site though, with cleaned up lyrics and all.
Go Thomas, like it's your birthday!
7 Sept 2006
We're all learning something!
On my last birthday, I thought about a few things I wanted to do, to be more fulfilled. One thing was to learn to dance, and last night, I went to my 2nd Salsa dance class. After only 2 sessions, I'm hooked. It's great fun, I've enjoyed chatting to the other people there, and I get to dance without needing to wait for someone to ask me to their wedding!
This morning, I took all the children out in the car with me. I went to the dump (as I'd cleared out our garage yesterday) and then we went to the shoe shop and they each got new trainers. I had a bag of mini-marshmallows to dispense when needed, and we managed fine. I was impressed at how smooth it went actually. Lady was great at looking after Thomas. He is always worried about going down unknown stairs, and Lady let him ride on her back so I could keep close to Duncan. Lastly, we called into a charity shop and left with a cuddly rabbit toy, a teddy-phone and a Muppet video (Duncan recognised it from a trailer on another video and asked for 'Pig falling in the water.')
There's been lots of learning happening here. Lady has worked hard at some maths worksheets I wanted her to do. When left to her own devices, she's played with her 'Human Body Explorer' CD ROM, watched her new DVD, (Bugsy Malone), invented endless new outfits for her dress-up wooden doll, drawn pictures and filled in her Brownies book, told stories to the boys using the trains and various props, composed a poem about the guinea-pigs and played outdoors on the trampoline. (She's learnt how to somersault-the other day she wanted mustard on her hot dog; she carried it outside, turned a somersault, and told me it was to shake the mustard!). Whew! That's not half of it, but what I can remember for now.
Thomas and Duncan pootle along as usual. Yesterday, I overheard Thomas asking Duncan to play a Pingu game on the computer with him; 'Duncan play Pingu falling in the water with Thomas? Yes play Pingu?' Duncan obviously thought that was a good idea as they were chuckling away together later, while gathered round the computer.
Duncan has been inputting all the train names into Google and YouTube by himself. I stay close by when he's doing this, to check the YouTube stuff especially. There are hundreds of Thomas The Tank films on YouTube. Yesterday, he was really getting into a film someone had made, with Thomas set to Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen!
Thomas loves the set of Magic Key books I got and asks me to read them regularly, then he gets all excited doing the 'game' at the end of each story. Sometimes I try to be clever and get him to read some words, or notice rhyming pairs, but he snorts in derision and says 'just read the story Mummy!' Fair enough. He is recognising all sorts of words now though, and wrote a letter to his friend in England (who really is called Thomas) ; I LUV YOU THOMAS.
I had to spell you, he spelled luv himself, and he copied Thomas from a DVD. Smart boy, eh?!
This morning, I took all the children out in the car with me. I went to the dump (as I'd cleared out our garage yesterday) and then we went to the shoe shop and they each got new trainers. I had a bag of mini-marshmallows to dispense when needed, and we managed fine. I was impressed at how smooth it went actually. Lady was great at looking after Thomas. He is always worried about going down unknown stairs, and Lady let him ride on her back so I could keep close to Duncan. Lastly, we called into a charity shop and left with a cuddly rabbit toy, a teddy-phone and a Muppet video (Duncan recognised it from a trailer on another video and asked for 'Pig falling in the water.')
There's been lots of learning happening here. Lady has worked hard at some maths worksheets I wanted her to do. When left to her own devices, she's played with her 'Human Body Explorer' CD ROM, watched her new DVD, (Bugsy Malone), invented endless new outfits for her dress-up wooden doll, drawn pictures and filled in her Brownies book, told stories to the boys using the trains and various props, composed a poem about the guinea-pigs and played outdoors on the trampoline. (She's learnt how to somersault-the other day she wanted mustard on her hot dog; she carried it outside, turned a somersault, and told me it was to shake the mustard!). Whew! That's not half of it, but what I can remember for now.
Thomas and Duncan pootle along as usual. Yesterday, I overheard Thomas asking Duncan to play a Pingu game on the computer with him; 'Duncan play Pingu falling in the water with Thomas? Yes play Pingu?' Duncan obviously thought that was a good idea as they were chuckling away together later, while gathered round the computer.
Duncan has been inputting all the train names into Google and YouTube by himself. I stay close by when he's doing this, to check the YouTube stuff especially. There are hundreds of Thomas The Tank films on YouTube. Yesterday, he was really getting into a film someone had made, with Thomas set to Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen!
Thomas loves the set of Magic Key books I got and asks me to read them regularly, then he gets all excited doing the 'game' at the end of each story. Sometimes I try to be clever and get him to read some words, or notice rhyming pairs, but he snorts in derision and says 'just read the story Mummy!' Fair enough. He is recognising all sorts of words now though, and wrote a letter to his friend in England (who really is called Thomas) ; I LUV YOU THOMAS.
I had to spell you, he spelled luv himself, and he copied Thomas from a DVD. Smart boy, eh?!
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