31 Aug 2007

Disagreement

I've noticed a blog post that kindly linked to my own post on the recent Daily Mail 'Monster Autism' story. To reciprocate the link love seems the least I can do!

The writer tackles autism cures;

If, hypothetically, a cure for autism existed, would you administer it?If you would, then you are a “curebie” and you should expect a vehement response for your opinion. Neurodiversity, as the argument goes, is no less a valid principle than racial or gender diversity. Advocate a cure and you are no better than a racist, a chauvinist, or any other bigot.


See, the thing is, that's not what I think a curebie is. There IS NO cure for autism. If somehow one was made available, I would not administer it to my son; I would let him decide for himself when he's old enough if he wanted to have a major and drastic change in his neurological make-up.

There's a great post here by Abfh called Defining Curebie-ism. I'd agree with her definition of the word.

The blogger continues;

Except we have to pause for a moment and ask who is proposing this particular opinion, and why?

The answer is simple; it is High Functioning autistics and aspies, advocating it because they want to be accepted for who they are, not rejected as freaks. Damned good point. They have every right to be offended and upset by the treatment they often receive. BUT ARE THEY SPEAKING FOR MY SON?

Read this carefully:

NO THEY BLOODY WELL ARE NOT.

There is a big difference - an enormous, fundamental difference between curing someone whose disability prevents them from understanding and adopting the social niceties of life, and curing someone whose disability leads them to smear shit all over their home, beat the crap out of their siblings, and cause sleep deprivation to the point of clinical insanity to their parents.

Autistic rights and the principle of neurodiversity expires when it imposes unreasonable demands upon other people who did not volunteer, and who have rights of their own that are rejected without any thought whatsoever.


I don't understand that last paragraph. What does he mean by 'autistic rights ... expires'? And why point out that parents didn't 'volunteer'. I don't subscribe to the notion that only those who can manage it are 'given' a disabled child either. It just happened, sheer chance. Just like the fact that 2 of my kids have curly hair, 2 of them are boys, one of them happens to be autistic.

Then there's the link to my earlier post;

When I read blogs like this, with comments like this:


Having an autistic child is tough and causes you to change your expectations of family life. Parents who adapt and accept this, and their children, are more likely to thrive.

then all I think of are the words “glib,” “patronising” and “bastard.”

Gee, it's nice of you to care.

The delightful man finishes with;

Since when did the arrival of a disabled child mean that parents should renounce their own expectations of life accept the priorities of their child? It doesn’t apply to parents of children with any of the other disabilities I teach - so why the fuck should autism be different?

Why? Because the service providers are ignorant, and because there are too many idiots like AFF and other ‘autism liberationist’ groups who think that their needs are best met by stamping underfoot the needs of their carers.

Wake up and smell the coffee, guys - you have a disability. It imposes burdens of care upon others that are only met by emotional bonds and goodwill. Stop taking the piss, otherwise you might find the goodwill has a short shelf life.


I just find this odd. The arrival of any child, disabled or not, means that parents have to adjust the expectations of their own life and for a while at least, the child's needs take priority. It doesn't have to mean you live just for your children, that you are a slave to them. But you have to expect that things will change from the entirely different scenario of a child free existence.

The author could really do with reading up on the social model of disability too.

Oh and the blogger known as JB or FS (who called me an ignorant fuck and a despicable hypocrite on my blog) loved it, calling it a 'great post'!

I was surprised that the blog I've mentioned is linked to from the ASD Friendly site, which I used to read and seems to have lots of useful information, and is, as far as I can tell, free from quackery.

10 comments:

David N. Andrews MEd (Distinction) said...

"Oh and the blogger known as JB or FS (who called me an ignorant fuck and a despicable hypocrite on my blog) loved it, calling it a 'great post'!"

Oh, him... yeh, well...

You know JBJr... all mouth and nothing between the legs... he'll call anything great as long as he doesn't have to disagree with its author.

Personally, I'm going to go on record as saying that the excerpt quoted here demonstrates that the person who wrote the post has no clue how to adapt to circumstances... is therefore somewhat defective in his/her thinking... can't/won't learn to solve problems effectively... and has no clue how life actually works. You've already said here why it doesn't work the way that quote's author wants it to.

Patrick said...

"Since when did the arrival of a disabled child mean that parents should renounce their own expectations of life accept the priorities of their child?"

Well, you could always disappear them like was done in the past.

But I don't think the groups wanting not to have a cure forced upon them expect anyone to renounce anything, except for their prejudice against difference, and the insistence that cures be mandatory.

"It doesn’t apply to parents of children with any of the other disabilities I teach - so why the f--- should autism be different?"

Oh it doesn't? Can you elaborate? (Which should have been done along with the unsupported claim?)

Well anyhow, Nice colorful language and attitude if indeed this is a real teacher, which I should hope not.

"Why? Because the service providers are ignorant, and because there are too many idiots like AFF and other ‘autism liberationist’ groups who think that their needs are best met by stamping underfoot the needs of their carers."

I might tend to gree with the ignorant service providers phrase, including those who are trying to treat something they do not fully understand.

On the second point I haven't been made aware that any of the charitable organizations have actually lifted a finger to support the carers either, instead one of them sees fit to spend lavish amounts of money attracting hollywood and lobbying resources to get more money for their fat paychecks. How's that for stamping underfoot the needs of their carers?

"Wake up and smell the coffee, guys - you have a disability. It imposes burdens of care upon others that are only met by emotional bonds and goodwill. Stop taking the p---, otherwise you might find the goodwill has a short shelf life."

What goodwill? Being ridiculed and bullied? Told by doctors 30 years ago that I looked at them like they were full of S--t. (Which we now know they were, as the condition I was reporting has now been classified.)

I realize this only applies in some cases, not the most severe.

I am sorry that he who shall not be named has to deal with the problems I have read described by him.

I hope he can find something that works for him.

Anonymous said...

What an angry rant. I came across your blog quite by accident and I'm sorry you don't feel like you understand other parents dealing with the same problems as your own with different points of view. Many of us have children who, of course, can never make their own informed decisions. You're very lucky that your son may be able to.

Autism, as always, isn't a one-size fits all. I hope you find peace with your problems one day and don't feel the need to flame others to make yourself feel better. Good luck.

Sharon said...

David and Patrick, I have only just noticed your comments. Sorry for not responding sooner. David, well, that guy will get no more space here. And the angry post has been well analysed by Patrick.

Anon, I think you've misread. The angry part of this post, is in quotation marks. I have not flamed anyone, I linked to a blog where I have been flamed, and quoted the relevant parts.

Thanks for the good luck message, I do sometimes have problems in life as does everyone and it's nice of you, whoever you are, to care. May I wish you and your family all the best in life too.

Anonymous said...

No, it wasn't the quotes I was commenting about, it was your angry responses to the blogger. Quite disturbing to read.

Hope things are improving for you now.

Sharon said...

OK Anon. The blogger I quote, wrote the following;
'BUT ARE THEY SPEAKING FOR MY SON?
Read this carefully:
NO THEY BLOODY WELL ARE NOT.
There is a big difference - an enormous, fundamental difference between curing someone whose disability prevents them from understanding and adopting the social niceties of life, and curing someone whose disability leads them to smear shit all over their home, beat the crap out of their siblings, and cause sleep deprivation to the point of clinical insanity to their parents.'

He wrote about me directly thus 'then all I think of are the words “glib,” “patronising” and “bastard.” '

He wrote,
'Since when did the arrival of a disabled child mean that parents should renounce their own expectations of life accept the priorities of their child? It doesn’t apply to parents of children with any of the other disabilities I teach - so why the fuck should autism be different?'

And you call MY post a rant and disturbing to read?

Why don't you try to pin-point the ranting bits for me. Consider it part of my education. I just can't see it myself, I reckon I was calm and reasonable in the face of outright personal insult.

Also, just so you know, things are fine for me, and don't need any improving.

Anonymous said...

Hi, Sharon why has he singled you out here? :(

I believe that im no where near as well educated as the person in question....but i do understand that everybody is different and that there is no need for that language and such a personal attack!
Hope thats the end of it :)

Anonymous said...

just to add to the previous post im no the firat 'anon' im the second ...haha ...im confusing myself here now :)

Anonymous said...

God i cant even type properly now! lol i think i should give up...anyway good luck Sharon and i hope he doesnt single you out again!
anon #2

Sharon said...

Hi Anon 2!

I thought you must not be the same person as Anon1! I couldn't understand what point s/he was trying to make, trying to imply that I'd just written some kind of horrible rant, while Mr Rude on the other blog was OK. I'm not sure why he singled me out either. The bit he quoted wasn't even all that controversial! Ah well, it takes all sorts. Thanks for you good wishes, and the same to you. :-)