tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28040139.post7668265203241258996..comments2023-07-25T09:25:34.293+01:00Comments on The Voyage: A day with autismSharon McDaidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13550156204691696968noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28040139.post-50474413800460507842008-04-06T08:34:00.000+01:002008-04-06T08:34:00.000+01:00Hey, Ive just been reading your blog for ages in b...Hey, Ive just been reading your blog for ages in bed. I love reading about your daily life. With or without autism, I admire the way you parent. All our children are a blessing. There are days I wonder what on earth Im doing with my lot, and other days where I sit in awe watching thier little personalities. My youngest has some 'behavioural problems' and I often get looks from strangers who dont know anything about us. It makes me so cross. How dare they judge my child. Luke doesnt have autism, but I think he may have something called 'ODD'. I discovered it on the net recently and it describes him perfectly. Although Im not sure if its a real thing or just a made up thing for doctors to spout about. Im no expert. All I know is that luke has his own ways of thinking about things and understanding, and if he can not understand how people behave , or what people ask him to do, he gets angry and cross, and cant deal with it. It appears to passers by that he is disobedient, but I know differently. I love watching his complex little personality developing. Anyway, what on earth am I waffling on about? I just wanted to say 'Hi, Ive been reading your blog!' LOL.Breehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05054574397393074508noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28040139.post-24434481732768941302008-03-19T15:19:00.000+00:002008-03-19T15:19:00.000+00:00Hi Bombaygirl and thanks for your comment. It soun...Hi Bombaygirl and thanks for your comment. It sounds like you made the right decision for your son. It makes sense that he will be more settled when he is happier and well understood. I too like to do some of the others things I enjoy, that don't involve being with my children, but it's just all part of living.Sharon McDaidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13550156204691696968noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28040139.post-70018128181866389032008-03-17T05:22:00.000+00:002008-03-17T05:22:00.000+00:00I recently decided to stop my son's ABA treatments...I recently decided to stop my son's ABA treatments as he was reacting really negatively to the tutors, and in the 3 weeks since I stopped, he's been a dream (in comparison). My husband just asked me if I get enough of a break from the kids (I also have a little girl) since he's not around a lot, and I had to think about it, but I actually love spending the day with them. I don't think of my time away as a break. Its just time spent with friends or doing other things. Not a break. Because I am really loving my time with these two, you know? And I can generally figure out a way to calm down my little guy if he's in a mood (I hate the word behaviour too!).Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28040139.post-76627019925818473772008-03-15T09:05:00.000+00:002008-03-15T09:05:00.000+00:00Bullet, thanks for showing that the attitude I'm t...Bullet, thanks for showing that the attitude I'm talking about, costs nothing.<BR/><BR/>Hi Ed, I always smile when I see there's a comment from you.<BR/>It's not all about income is it? The resources needed here are not financial, just love and understanding.<BR/>Thanks too for the insight into the pleasures of southern cuisine!Sharon McDaidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13550156204691696968noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28040139.post-75930399196551152902008-03-15T08:57:00.000+00:002008-03-15T08:57:00.000+00:00Hello The sargent.People with very low incomes can...Hello The sargent.<BR/>People with very low incomes can have a harder life in many ways. If there are severe financial worries, it will impact on all family members, whether they are autistic or not. Also, in troubled homes, there may be problems with raising any children.<BR/><BR/>The families depicted in these articles are not in financial dire straits. Neither am I. They usually are, like me, fairly secure.<BR/><BR/>It is often implied that raising an autistic child is hugely more expensive. It <I>is</I> more expensive in some ways, in that you might need to use nappies for much longer than usual, or run the washing machine more, or pay more for child care or pay for extra locks on doors and windows; different things to make life go slightly easier. My son is eligible for disability living allowance which helps with these sorts of things. It's important that this money is provided by the state for people who need it. <BR/>This is not the same as paying out for expensive and unnecessary 'therapies.' <BR/><BR/>The children you mention, (aggressive or self harming) do you know what was done to figure out why they were doing these things? They might have been under tremendous stress. I know that the school situation for many autistic children is awful, and the children suffer from an inadequate and underfunded system. That will make life hard for the teachers too. I would support efforts to improve these schools, or to make it more widely known that home-education is a legal and effective option.<BR/><BR/>So I'm displaying some 'Daily Mail' indignation? Right, you go ahead and label it as such if you want. Yes, I am indignant. The message of anger and fear harms parents and autistic people. Parents reading these negative stories are more likely to fail to bond with their child and are more vulnerable to fall for quackery. These messages dehumanise autistics.Sharon McDaidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13550156204691696968noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28040139.post-18138028201337830732008-03-14T20:19:00.000+00:002008-03-14T20:19:00.000+00:00Hi Sharon,Looks like yet another person has recogn...Hi Sharon,<BR/>Looks like yet another person has recognised how fortunate Duncan is to have parents like you and Gordon who view their autistic son's future with optimism. <BR/><BR/>Unfortunately, they seem to once again (temporarily at least) to be unable to access the benefits of reading about such an attitude by descibing that attitude all too conveiniently as the result of resources that are outside their spectrum of access.<BR/><BR/>Bullet,<BR/>Five meals out of 1 chicken is very frugal of you. Some people in the southern U.S. where I live would never think of looking for ways to cut cost when it comes to fixing chicken.<BR/><BR/>As some southerners might say, "Anyone who can get 5 meals out of 1 chicken is likely to miss 4 opertunities to FRY 1 good bird!"Edhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08354784098768688627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28040139.post-53667530030166405412008-03-14T14:50:00.000+00:002008-03-14T14:50:00.000+00:00Well, I can't speak for Sharon, but personally whi...Well, I can't speak for Sharon, but personally whilst we are not on the poverty line DH and I do not have a lot of money. We live in a tiny five roomed Edwardian Terrace, can't afford to buy a property, have to budget carefully each month and it's been a while since we've been able to buy anything other than the essentials. On the plus side we save up for everything we need so have no debts. And we are very fortunate to be entitled to some tax credits, disability living allowance and the statutory child benefit. I am also good at thinking of ways of using up things (I can get five meals out of a cooked chicken for example) which also helps.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28040139.post-39017750296536342012008-03-14T12:01:00.000+00:002008-03-14T12:01:00.000+00:00Hey there, just a small point. It seems you have a...Hey there, just a small point. It seems you have a good relationship with autism in your household! I take it you are in a higher income / savings bracket? I do not mean to be rude but the time I spent investigating ASD there was plenty of bad situations, usually in Lower income households, and single parent families, so I'm asking for interests sake. shame really cos caring for a child with autism is a full time thing - like any child. I also came across some ASD people who were violent self harmers, they were a job to interact with! A mate of mine had to quit his job as a carer in ASD school cos he was attacked so much. I'm just saying be grateful you seem to be top of the ASD deck! Some good old righteous Daily Mail indignation here too!! I think thats first time ive seen anyone take offence at research LOL. Nice to see a bit o fire. Congrats on the award!<BR/>- The sargentAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28040139.post-42807096680923768612008-03-14T09:32:00.000+00:002008-03-14T09:32:00.000+00:00I loved reading about your boys Bullet. Tom is suc...I loved reading about your boys Bullet. Tom is such a star. I reckon that often, the bad times parents face, are caused much more by difficulties with schools and health services, rather than with the children themselves. I know that we bypass a lot of that hassle by home-educating. But like I said, I do like to take the easy option, especially when it's also (for us) by far the <I>best</I> option.<BR/><BR/>Thanks VAB. Yes, I suppose the newspapers seek out controversy to create a more sensational story. It's dangerous though, and creates a lot of ignorance and fear of autistic people, and anyone who is different, and that in turn leads to prejudice and sometimes hate crimes.<BR/><BR/>All the recent incidences of parents killing their autistic children might not have happened if those parents had not been fed a diet of scare stories and devastation rhetoric in the papers so often.Sharon McDaidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13550156204691696968noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28040139.post-20314436308562637842008-03-14T01:13:00.000+00:002008-03-14T01:13:00.000+00:00What a nice read that was. I really know what you ...What a nice read that was. I really know what you mean about the press. The thing is, they might look at many different families, but the only ones that are going to make it into the actual article are the ones that are both sensational and stick to the script. Not many people will pay good money to learn that their neighbors are having an unremarkable time of it. <BR/><BR/>Fortunately, there are people such as yourself who are willing to chronicle life with autism as you find it in blogs. Hopefully, the truth will leak out.VABhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06652301858477760996noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28040139.post-35806074945026969682008-03-13T22:40:00.000+00:002008-03-13T22:40:00.000+00:00That was a busy day :). The mum at the swimming po...That was a busy day :). The mum at the swimming pool should have been more understanding I think.<BR/> Anyway, here is a bit of our day :D.<BR/> I can hear giggling when I wake up. The lads are awake and clearly conspiring :P. I get out of bed and Jacob, my baby (ok he's 2.5 but he's still my baby) hears me and starts shouting. I get dressed and go downstairs to change their nappies. Tom is playing with the megablocks. He looks at me.<BR/> "How old is E?" he asks me. I know what to do.<BR/> "How old is E?" I reply.<BR/> "E five" he announces.<BR/> "That's right," I tell him. "E is five years old."<BR/> "A how old is Tom?"<BR/> "You tell me" I reply on the offchance he doesn't want this routine. He starts getting upset.<BR/> "A how old a TOM?!"<BR/> "How old is Tom?" I ask.<BR/> "Tom a four!" he replies then starts laughing. He only learnt how to say how old he was a couple of weeks ago and he is very proud. <BR/> "Are you looking forward to school today?" I ask.<BR/> "Are you looking forward a 'chool today?" comes the answer.<BR/> Then:<BR/> "W bread!"<BR/> "W had bread for dinner yesterday, did he?" I ask.<BR/> "A Tom bread!" comes the reply.<BR/> We go downstairs and have breakfast. I get Tom dressed after breakfast as he gets a tad messy. <BR/> "Are you going to help me sort your school bag out Tom?" I ask.<BR/> "I TOM!!" he announces, enraged. Yes, he has recently learnt some self identity as well.<BR/> School bag is sorted and he then tells me:<BR/> "Climb a my back said a fox!" before hurtling onto my shoulders, tweaking my nose and falling back onto the couch. <BR/> The bus arrives and he gets on. He had got into the routine of saying "hello" to the driver and helper but he's forgotten it now. I prompt him to say hello and he says it very quietly. The bus leaves.<BR/> Later in the day it comes back, Tom's jumper indicating he's had some of his school dinner. We go to our front door and he looks at it.<BR/> "A 14!" he announces.<BR/> "I think he's pleased to be home. We go in and I ask him if he had a nice day.<BR/> !A EATING!" he replies, dragging me to the kitchen. He has his priorities worked out. I look through his book and discover he enjoyed putting lots of glue onto the band he decorated and that he counted some boxes. A good day then :).Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com