The Princess and the Frog

The film was released here just after we left for our holiday and it had been out for so long in the US that it was no longer shown in most cinemas. So keen as were (me and Lady anyway!) to see this, we just had to wait until we got home again. So a few days ago we headed off the local cinema for a bit of old fashioned Disney animated goodness. Now I am aware that Disney films are not all peachy and contain heaps of patriarchy pushing and much outright racism but I like, even love most of them, flaws and all. OK so Ariel has some twisted ambitions, Cinderella is so wet and pathetic and Belle falls for a creature who locks up first her dad and then her and shouts and is cruel, but I'll overlook these things, they can happen to any of us.

As usual in the cinema I sat by Duncan. He took a while to get involved in the story but I fell for it right away. It looks beautiful and Tiana is such an engaging, feisty character. I didn't care much for the prince, even after he'd been improved (as is always the case in these films) by his association with our smart wee waiter woman. Having watched a few of the preview trailers last year (and following some of the controversy about how race was depicted in the film) I was dreading the appearance of the firefly Ray but he was lovely and his love of the star was sweet and his role at the movie's end really touching. The bad guy, who uses the spirits to advance himself and whom we know will meet a sticky end before the credits role, was well realised too, and the spirits were bloody spooky and menacing.

We all enjoyed it. I liked the music and Duncan definitely favoured Ray. So much so that when an unfortunate event occurs near the end, he was really saddened and even angered and said very loudly, "Where is Ray?" He was properly concerned. I tried to comfort him with some theory or other about where Ray had gone but he saw right through me. Then he declared, "Ray is not a star, get Ray back NOW!" Thankfully the cinema was almost empty, but even if it hadn't been, I hardy think his expressing deep feelings about the action would have bothered anyone. He cried for a while later that night and I talked to him about it all. Then he said he wasn't sad any more and that was that.

I was predisposed to like this film. I have to admit I did want to see a beautiful black woman become a Disney Princess in a classic tale and moreover, for my brown-skinned daughter to see someone other than the typical Disney gal depicted. On our last morning at Disney World we happened across the Tiana and Naveen characters meeting people. There was a short line so see them so I approached to wait too but was told they had closed the line and asked to return an hour later. Too bad I thought. But then the staff member (cast member they're called over there!) decided to allow us on in. So a few minutes later the children were meeting Tiana and Naveen who were absolutely lovely and chatted with them for ages. Lady did OK with handsome Naveen's arm on her shoulder all along while Duncan had the pretty lady (and he likes the pretty ones!) hold his hand all the time.


We big people joined the children for a photo next and I positioned myself next to the prince.


When we'd finished they walked off regally, the Tiana character waving and smiling at all the gobsmacked little girls. It was sweet and I am not so cynical that I didn't get a warm feeling when a little girl of 4 or so stopped to stare at the princess who looked like her.

Orlando Holiday: Part 1 The Flight

We rose early on Tuesday morning and piled cases, wheelchairs and bodies into the car bound for Dublin airport. Once parked and in the airport, we'd only a short wait to drop of our bags then through security. So far, so fantastic. Duncan used his wheelchair (occasionally recreationally- see video!) though he did jump out every so often before sprinting after whatever took his fancy. No doubt folk observing were wondering what we were about, but sure, we're used to that!



We were delighted to spot my sister at the departure gate. Now we had the full crew the holiday really was on course. When the plane was ready we were allowed to board early. Duncan sat at the window, me to his right, his dad and Thomas in front (in case he kicked the seat!) and Lady and my sister across the aisle from me. It was just right. Best of all each passenger had a personal entertainment system in the seat back. Duncan started to watch Disney films straight off, with his ear defenders over the ear phones.

The Aer Lingus crew were fantastic. After take off we were told that the empty bulkhead seats were ours for the taking if we wanted them. We decided to stay put, even though they had more leg room, since it wasn't worth disrupting what was working so far.

Before long Duncan opted to simply listen to children's TV theme tunes and soon after that he set his screen to show the route map which he followed for hours! The journey took over 9 hours and in all that time he was just as perfect as I could possibly have hoped for. As always, Thomas and Lady were helpful and relaxed, and enjoyed the films and games on offer.

Just one incident marred the experience. Sitting behind me were 2 elderly men whom I presume from their accents were from the USA. They both slept for a few hours. Unfortunately I was assaulted at regular intervals by the most foul stench of someone's intestinal gases escaping and the pungency and direction of the attack strongly suggested one or both of these dudes was the culprit. But hey, when you're on an aeroplane you have to put up with whatever you're next to so I set the air blower things in my row to maximum and tried to breathe through my mouth. Then a couple of hours before landing Duncan started to move the window shutter next to him. He put it up, then a minute later shut it, and for a while he played at opening and closing it. He wasn't making much noise and the shutter wasn't shared with another row. He wasn't causing any harm and I was keeping a close eye to see if I needed to move him on to something else. Then I heard the men behind us talking and they were complaining to each other about the shutter thing, saying they wished he'd make up his mind and leave it alone. I was a bit surprised and caught my sister's eye. She sighed and rolled her eyes at the cranky old guys. Then I heard something I couldn't ignore. The one behind Duncan said (and I didn't catch it all exactly) "...I'd choke him..." and I knew he was referring to Duncan. I said to my sister who looked outraged, "did I just hear that right?!" She said that yes, she'd heard him too. I turned around and looked him in the eye, "excuse me, what was that you just said about my son?" He wasn't so forthright when he was challenged; "oh, nothing...I was just talking about the light. It's OK."
"You were talking about my son. He is disabled, he is autistic and he is doing the best he can. In fact, he is being bloody fantastic."
"Yes, yes. It's OK."

I wanted to say something to the crew but since I wasn't sure what else he's said, besides I'd choke him which I'd heard loud and clear, I left it. But I was a bit shaken. It was extra nice when a few minutes later another old Irish man who was queuing next to our seat for the sandwich sale, started chatting and asked about Duncan saying what a great boy he was. Better yet, 2 of the crew approached me to chat and commended Duncan in the most complimentary way saying he had been just wonderful and he was such a credit to us and what a lovely, happy child he is and it was a pleasure having us on board. Mr Nasty can't help but have heard.
My sister told me later that she'd heard the whole thing clearly. He'd said, "if he was my son I'd have choked him by now." Cruel sod. I pity the children he may have had and hope karma bites him hard on the ass.

But onwards. The descent was hard on Duncan. His ears hurt and despite our best efforts (together with kind offers of sweets and olbas oil drops from the crew and other, nicer passengers sitting close) he couldn't or wouldn't take anything. I just held him and whispered comforting words and he cried until he were almost down. But this too passed. We disembarked and were able to go follow airport staff through the disabled passengers' line at immigration. We even had a friendly immigration officer! We were all tired out but managed to keep it together until we'd got our cases (both times) and picked up the hire car.

We'd more than survived the journey, we'd enjoyed it.

We're NOT supporting Andrew Wakefield Facebook Group

I started a group on Facebook for everyone who wishes to record their opinion on the Andrew Wakefield GMC rulings. Anyone who is/is closely connected to an autistic person is especially
welcome. Join here:

Parents and autistic people supporting GMC rulings against Andrew Wakefield

I want to show that we do not all support Andrew Wakefield who despite the damning verdict against him, is unrepentant and said in his recent statement "It remains for me to thank the parents whose commitment and loyalty has been extraordinary."

The newspapers writing about the guilty man also refer to his support base and in some ways imply that parents of autistic children are more inclined to stand behind the disgraced doctor.
Please join the group and spread the word to show how we really feel about a man who has been found guilty of a disgraceful lack of ethics, a "callous disregard for the suffering of children" and who has done so much to denigrate autistic people and increase the spread of preventable infectious disease.

Andrew Wakefield Verdict- Guilty

Guilty

The General Medical Council has ruled that Andrew Wakefield, one of autism's most notorious False Prophets and quintessential brave maverick doctor is guilty of having "showed a callous disregard" for the suffering of children and has "abused his position of trust."

According to The Guardian's report:

Wakefield also acted dishonestly and was misleading and irresponsible in the way he described research that was later published in the Lancet medical journal, the GMC said. He had gone against the interests of children in his care, and his conduct brought the medical profession "into disrepute" after he took blood samples from youngsters at his son's birthday party in return for payments of £5.

The doctor, who was absent from today's GMC hearing, faces being struck off the medical register. The panel decided the allegations against him could amount to serious professional misconduct, an issue to be decided at a later date.

It's a damning verdict. This man should be ashamed of how terribly he has used autistic children to make a name for himself. He cares more for the adoration of the deluded and confused who flock around him at the autism quack conferences like he's Jo Jonas or something thinking his use of their children means he cares or can help. No one should let this man anywhere near their children, autistic or not. He has caused a shit storm of harm to autistic people by leading the troops describing the condition as vaccination damage, with all the negative rhetoric they propagate. Thousands of parents were confused by the reporting of his crappy paper and his lack of dignity and honesty in refusing to admit that it was a fair cop even when it came out in public that he'd totally fixed his results. He is responsible for so many people choosing to avoid vaccinating their children; the subsequent rise in measles cases caused death and disability in children when it could have been avoided.

Watch out, autist about

What do people think of these as potential T-shirt/badge designs?


Duncan worked on his own design; a version of Chuckie Finster's favourite shirt. He's put it on his own blog here.

Edited to add:
Here's the design Duncan came up with all by himself. I only typed the words he told me to.

Cool eh?!

Forest Tracks

We took a walk through the forest. Duncan elected to ride in his wheelchair. It's just the right size for him and he's pretty comfortable in it, thank goodness. It's not really designed for forest tracks but as long as we kept on the bigger and smoother paths we were fine. He got out and ran about now and then too, and they all had a good splash about in the burn. Lady told me stories about all the forest residents; fairies, sprites and goddesses in the trees and water and the two warring werewolf tribes, the protectors and the flesh eaters. Apparently ivy and holly repel the flesh-eaters and the few scraps of cloth we spotted caught in the bushes were left over when the wolves transform. She and her cousin A. thought all this up, with the help no doubt of Harry Potter, Twilight and I think, some Enid Blyton stuff thrown into the mix.

Duncan trying out his wheelchair. Though he looks kind of worried, he was very content!

Duncan was wearing an old pair of Lady's glasses. They have blue frames so help him look more like his hero Chuckie Finster

Lady and Thomas test their wellies and prove that so long as the water doesn't rise above the rim, your socks stay dry.

Duncan finds that chucking stones into water can be a most satisfying pursuit.

The dog was in heaven dashing about sniffing out the holes and burrows and avoiding the water as much as she could. I panicked a bit when 3 sheep ran out on the other bank close to her: they must have got out of their field. Thankfully she came to heel and I was able to clip her lead back on without her running after them. Poor Duncan was a bit stressed but soon cheered up when we set of in the direction of the Spar and he got his hands on the first Creme Egg of the season.

Later Thomas had gymnastics for 2 hours; squad training. He came out with yet another trophy. We joked about how all this winning was just getting boring now. Then I took him off to his 2nd Tuesday class, an hour of jujitsu. Lady has dropped this one but Thomas still loves it. He's a green belt now. I can see him sticking with it all the way to black. He's an ambitious wee lad, and hard working, unlike his Mam.

Dear passengers on EI121

So you've all booked a flight from Dublin to Orlando and luckily, you've chosen to go at the same time as me and my family. Some of you will, like us, be heading off for a bit of a holiday and hoping for sun, heat, roller coasters and perhaps some time at the home of the world's most famous rodent. It's likely that some of you will be travelling for work and others may be visiting family or returning home. Whatever the reason, I hope it's all good for you.

I'm sure you understand that this route attracts many families with young children who are incredibly excited to be going on holiday to Disney World, and for whom the long flight can be quite a trial. I suggest that if you don't wish to be disturbed by their chatter and the hopefully infrequent but inevitable tears and tantrums, that you pack ear plugs or invest in some noise cancelling headphones or even upgrade to business class. I hope your flight will be as pleasant as possible but young children and older people with disabilities exist and must be at least tolerated and hopefully even respected.

It's likely that I will board before you. Most airlines allow these small accommodations to reduce the stress on people like my son, caused by lots of waiting about. So when you're walking down the aisle and see the skinny boy who might just be kicking up a fuss about something, you can feel relief that you're not sitting next to him if you want but please, don't stop to tell me so like one heartless git did last time we flew. If you do find yourself sitting in our vicinity, well sorry. I promise you that all of the people in my party will be doing our very best to distract, entertain and if needed, reassure my disabled son. Know too that the child himself will be doing his best to cope with what to him can be a difficult situation.

You may think that people like him shouldn't fly if it's so difficult for him. I disagree. Flying is not an activity reserved only for adults and non-disabled people. We're all at liberty to travel so long as we abide by the legal requirements. It's important that we try to be as respectful and polite as possible to those around us but if my son shouts at times, that doesn't mean he can't fly.

Last year there were a few stories about parents and autistic children being removed from planes before take off. I read and was disgusted by some of the vitriolic commentary about these incidents. There were those who advocated bashing the kids against seat backs and throwing them out in mid-air. Apart from these extremists, there were many who just whinged about how their right to peace and quiet was disturbed by children and "mothers" (rarely fathers) who expected to be treated as saintly just because they'd given birth. I don't think that's the case. I'm sorry to say that when you're in a public space you have no right to peace and quiet, especially not when you're trapped in a moving can in the air. You have a right to travel in security and safety and as much comfort as is possible. But people of all kinds exist and they have to get about too.

So instead of judging, rolling your eyes and tutting (like one couple did last time) or staring (again, we had this last time) or getting pissed off at me for putting my son's seat back when he finally fell asleep (as the man behind him did last time- he actually pushed the seat back up! I let him, I was too worn out by then to protest) I have a radical idea- why don't you try a smile, and ask, "is there anything I can do to help?"
That would be truly heroic.

Know also it could be worse. I flew to Portugal with my sister last August. There were a few children in front of us, one of whom cried a little as we landed. That was fine: children sometimes cry and the parents were doing their best to comfort the little one. Behind us though were a group of people travelling together who yapped loudly the whole time, their braying voices forcing all around them to hear all about their exploits, and it was Too Much Information! Worse yet, someone kept farting and I was tempted to pull out the oxygen mask to have some clean air to breath. I was so relived to step off that plane.

Enjoy your flight!

Sharon xx

Social Story Video for Flying with Duncan

Duncan has been a bit anxious about flying to Orlando. He's been asking that we fly with Flybe and Virgin, the 2 airlines we used last time when we flew via London. He kept saying, "no Aer Lingus!" and I didn't push it. A few nights ago I was lying beside him in bed and looking at pictures on my laptop. He was looking on. I started looking at Aer Lingus aeroplanes and he asked to have a closer look. Then he wanted to watch videos about Aer Lingus so we YouTubed for a while; ended up watching a cheesy ad I remember from my childhood, showing the cabin crew as comely maidens clad all in green and the pilots as dudes of a certain age; abounding in wisdom and reliability. In fact as soon as you got on board, you were as good as home.

Duncan enjoyed it anyway. He'll probably be asking me to download the soundtrack for The Mission next.

Yesterday I asked him if he would help me make a film about going to Orlando. He agreed so I powered up Windows Movie Maker and sat by him. He immediately suggested the appropriate music, "Here comes the sun" by The Beatles. He's used that song before! I thought it was an excellent choice so we went on from there, adding text and pictures. He insisted on including the train picture at the end!

(I've already ordered the train from ebay so will slip it into our luggage and take it with us to save the stress of trying to find it out there. I only hope it's enough to distract him from his original idea of buying a cuckoo clock at Epcot- so expensive and delicate!)

Planning for Disney World with Autism: The Flight

We've done this before so I have a better idea of what I need to improve to make this flight across the Atlantic as painless as it can be for everyone. Last time we flew via London and Duncan was fine on the first short flight from Belfast but very distressed on the second leg of the journey. He had it in mind that once we arrived in London, Disney World would be just a taxi drive away. (This was a reasonable assumption since it's what had happened when we'd gone to Disneyland Paris.) The flight was delayed at London and we had paid to wait in a lounge (Virgin V Room) with good facilities for families. I'd hoped that as Duncan played about loads in the soft play room, he'd be tired and fall asleep on the plane. But he didn't even want to board the cavernous and to him, scary Virgin plane. I'd opted to sit in the bulkhead seats with him thinking that we'd have slightly more space and no one in front to be bothered by his kicking their seatback. These seats are sought after and were allocated to us because of Duncan's disability. However they were a bad choice. We were sitting next to a baby who cried which upset Duncan. The little girl sitting next to me had a packet of sweets of higher value to Duncan than the hard lollies I'd packed for him to suck. We were also exposed to the rude and contemptuous stares of strangers all around. Duncan fussed and whined and occasionally wailed for HOURS and the poor child was so unhappy. I was worn out and the attitude of other passengers near us added to his distress and my stress.

Before boarding the return flight, I had him sit in his stroller and I pushed him about the airport for ages until the plane was ready. It was an evening flight and I tried to keep stimulation to a minimum. We opted for seats in a row of 3 alongside the galley which reduced the number of other people near us. Duncan sat between me and his dad and the other 2 children had to sit alone beside a stranger behind us. I knew that I had to have Duncan surrounded by people who cared and protected from the looks and tuts of paediaphobes/disabled people haters. It was an evening flight and he'd had plenty to eat and been active all day, but was chilled out and relaxed from being pushed about in the stroller. I'd changed him into comfortable clothes and brushed his teeth. When we sat on the plane, I cuddled him and his dad stroked his feet and he fell asleep before we'd left the runway. Success!

This time I have planned like a general. I've booked a flight from Dublin direct to Orlando so no transfer worries. I plan to take some of his absolute favourite sweets and snacks. There are times to worry about healthy eating but when you're in a metal box hurtling along 12km up in the air, that's not the time. Just do what it takes to get by. I will have DS games and his Gameboy. I will fill my Ipod with his favourite movies in case the in flight entertainment is inadequate. I am making him a book showing exactly what will happen at each stage of the journey from leaving our home to arriving at the villa. He will have a travel bag with some favourite small toys and books as well as colouring pens and a notebook in case I need to write out or draw further instructions. We have arranged to sit so as to have Duncan as sheltered from strangers as possible. He will have ear defenders and a neck cushion.

Duncan has outgrown his stroller but he still needs a safe place to retreat to and I need a way of reducing his tendency to run off. I have just received his new and long awaited wheelchair. It's just the right size and will enable us to have a much more relaxed and enjoyable holiday. I've informed the airline of his needs and that he'll be using a wheelchair until we get to the plane. It will make navigating the airports that much easier. I will also use his autism alert card to show any officials who can help us get through the potentially tricky security and immigration rituals.

Best of all my sister is coming with us this time so there'll be 3 adults and 3 children so everyone will be well cared for. I want this to be fun for him and the others, so I will try to be alert but not stressed. Hopefully all this planning will help me strike the right balance.

Tell you what, I can't flippin' wait!

School options - SLD

I spoke with an educational psychologist on Friday about school options for Duncan. She thought one of the schools for children with severe learning difficulties (SLD) would be best for him so he would get the highest level of support. These schools are not autism-specific but contain pupils with any condition, physical, sensory, emotional or neurological that impedes the child's ability to learn. I admit I was surprised for a minute or two since Duncan is well able to learn but on reflection I agree that if he was to go to a school, he would need a high adult to child ratio with well trained and experienced teaching staff. She said that although he is able in many ways he is "very autistic" and that his behavioural problems would make it difficult for him to "access the curriculum." She knows other autistic children who are like Duncan in many ways, who have the same problems with impulse control but who are bright and curious and who have done well at one of these schools. Duncan has done well at home having had a lot of individual attention and when we go out he has virtually one-to-one attention from me so to give him the best chance of succeeding in a school, the transition needs to be as easy as possible with the highest levels of care and support that would only be available in a SLD school.

I will go and visit the schools and speaks to the principals and teachers. I need to find out how the approach problem behaviour, check they don't use restraints and discover as much as I can about how they operate and whether I would be happy enough for my son to go there.

Complicated

I've been thinking for years about how to deal with some difficulties I face. This has taken so much of my time and energy, it's drained me. I've had no desire to blog while this was foremost in my mind. But thankfully now I have reached a decision I can be...well not happy about, but confident that it's the right one. It's a huge relief to know for certain and to start now making plans to move on with a new phase in my life.

I have missed blogging. I enjoyed keeping this record of my children's development and the silly stuff we get up to as well as sharing my opinions on autism/disability/home education issues with anyone who chooses to read them. It's been an important outlet; writing posts here has often concentrated my mind, forcing me to research issues to be able to write with some knowledge and understanding. It's been a way of making contacts around the world with people with similar interests and of connecting with others writing about their own lives and areas of expertise. I love reading blogs and even when I wasn't writing my own I have continued to read the blogs I've subscribed to, though I've very rarely commented on any. I have stopped reading a few that were just starting to piss me off with their lazy stereotyping, especially those with sexist and (all too often) disablist writing. I just don't have the energy to witness that stuff.
It means I stay away from many mainstream comment sites like CiF on the Guardian and the BBC websites- shudder.

Today I will meet with an education psychologist from the local education board. I want to investigate schooling options for Duncan. I'm not sure whether or not I will enroll him in a school again but will think about it seriously and figure out what he prefers. Thomas too is thinking of starting at school for the 1st time in his life. Lady has no desire to be schooled. I will support their choices.

I'm tired but getting by. I can be proud of how the children are thriving; obviously I am more than coping, despite the fact that my home is only rarely tidy and there's a long list of home repairs needing to be dealt with.

Also, the whole family is lucky enough to be going to Disney World for a fortnight in February. I'll be sure to see that the children have a fabulous time. It'd be very hard not to!

New Moon, headbanging and thinking for oneself

Duncan continues to take great pleasure in producing various pictures of Chuckie from the Rugrats. Is it perseveration? Do I care? Each picture is different in at least some small way. I think they're cute and funny and witty.

Thomas doesn't like to draw. He'd rather do maths or count the money in his Tardis money box. (I don't mean it's bigger on the inside, it's just shaped like a Tardis.) We've been doing some P4 stuff on Education City (free trial) and he's acing it all. Lady has used that site too and they both quite like it so I might subscribe. Does anyone have a code they want to share?

He's also decided he wants to try school after we return from our holiday in February (2 weeks in Orlando!) He says that everyone else in the family has been to school at some stage but he never went to nursery or school so he wants to see what it's like. I've been reading the prospectus for various schools and quizzing our friends and neighbours about what they think of the school they/their children go to.

Graham Badman and Ed Balls, do you see what I'm doing here? I'm listening to my child, I'm gathering information to help us both make the best decision about his education. It's not a matter of my rights clashing with his, despite the mistaken way in which you think about parenting and the duty on parents to ensure their child receives an education. If he's happy to go to school and it works out for him, then fine, he goes to school. But if he doesn't like it, he will be deregistered and his education will continue to happen at home and in the community as it has so far with great success.

So what else- we watched the latest Doctor Who, The Waters of Mars which was terrific, and taught that the homeopaths were wrong; water has patience not memory (via @jackofkent). Also, Gordon was in the US for a week but the children were still able to see him thanks to the magic of technology. Here's a screen grab he took from his hotel room in Boston as he spoke to Duncan and I via Google video;

Nice and clear eh!

What wasn't so nice was the cuckoo clock falling off the wall (where I had fixed it-guilt!) somehow and onto Thomas' head. He was sore and bleeding so I called a friend and neighbour who kindly rushed around with her little girl to stay with Duncan and Lady while I took Thomas to get checked out. The bleeding stopped quickly but you don't take chances with bashes to the head. I went to our GP 1st as it's very close and told the receptionist what had happened, her question floored me (not really) -"Does he have an appointment?" Yes really!

She advised me to take him to the Minor Injury clinic in town so I did and he was seen and sorted very quickly. Thankfully there was no evidence of serious harm and he didn't even need a stitch.

The following morning my neighbour minded my children again while I met with a psychologist to discuss Duncan and to seek advice on issues I wish could help him deal better with, like his impulses and angst driven shouting. I don't know how useful it will be. She used the word "behaviours" which I dislike intensely. I've been given an assessment form to fill in; ABAS II for those familiar with such things. It's interesting, but leaves no space to detail many of the skills and abilities he does possess, but I suppose they are deemed "non-functional" or something.

Lady continues to work hard at gymnastics. She trains for over 15 hours a week and loves it. I watched her at cheer-leading on Saturday and was so proud of her strength and poise. Her acro partner and sister are visiting today, no doubt they'll be showing off to me on the trampoline.
I took Lady and her close friend (who lives next door) to see New Moon, that Twilight film yesterday. Oh my, what hokum. The girls enjoyed it even as they were laughing at how silly so much of it is. That Bella Swan girl is so pathetic, glum and wan. She never does anything but mope and have nightmares. Has she no hobbies? Her face would break if she cracked a smile. The girls can easily see she's taken all that first and fiery love thing too far- jumping off cliffs and riding motor bikes with no helmet just to produce ghostly ticking-offs from Mr Chalky.
They both thought Jacob the were-boy was the better bet, if forced to choose and I think they're right. Both have acknowledged the inherent ridiculousness of getting involved with anyone who could either claw or bite you to death at any moment and do not think it's romantic, just that it makes (for them) for an engaging fantasy.

I say this as some of the chatter on the Twilight series warns of the danger to girls of thinking that bad boys are best; but I have much more respect for girls' ability to see it for what it is, a rollicking bit of escapist nonsense.

I laughed a lot, and was elbowed fiercely by Lady. It's not supposed to be funny when Edward with his LOW slung trousers starts to unbutton his shirt in the sunshine, but it really was. He has such big hair too, I wonder what product he uses, something specially developed for the dead?

Michael Sheen was great fun as an evil vampire overlord. It was extra delicious since I think of Tony Blair whenever he's on as he's played our previous beloved leader twice in film and will do so again soon I've read. So I was watching and thinking that the evil leader of the vampire council is Tony Blair. Good job he didn't get the European presidency he sought, dread to think what he's have done with the increase in power.

With all this nonsense I end. But having read Mike and Sarah's posts on the latest pile of bile from Minnette Mirrin, I'm rilled up enough and will be back with some whinge blogging imminently.

For your viewing pleasure...

It's Duncan's most recent production. The music is by his current favourite singer, Michael Jackson. He likes to listen to his CD in the car and prefers track 1 from Off the Wall.

Sadly my friends in Germany will be denied the joy of watching this random video as Sony Music have blocked it there, boo hoo.

Burping and Swearing

Duncan has been working on some important skills. His current favourite video is shown below. He's watching it right now beside me and just cracking up. He keeps saying it's a "TV Burp" thinking about the TV show we watch together sometimes.



His ambition it appears, is to emulate the burpability of Buddy the Elf, and he's been practicing hard. It's such a delight to hear him burping or, to use the terminology of my childhood, rifting, when we're in the car together. I suspect that if I stay stoic and blandly keep telling him to be polite he'll get tired of this soon enough.

Like many nine year old boys, he's discovered the power of cursing. It could be worse. He knows that I don't want him shouting rude words (at least until he can determine when it's not going to upset people to hear him). He's sort of tempering it; now while playing his Gameboy he expresses his frustrations with "What the!" He sometimes shouts "oh F...OX!" but I know what he means. Little rapscallion.

Accentuate the positive

Life is stressful now more than ever. But something wonderful has been happening and my inability to blog lately means I have not focussed on it as I usually would. My boy Duncan is doing really well. He is happy, settled, more focussed, talks loads, understands speech more and can carry out more complex instructions. His reading ability continues to improve. He has played lots of computer games and uses YouTube instruction videos (which have occasionally increased his vocabulary in less than optimal ways) when he gets stuck since he knows I'm no help. He also gets his brother Thomas to help him out now and then. The two boys are getting along really well. They have so much fun together though obviously they wind each other up at times too!

Lady is growing up fast. She has a lot to deal with, more than many children her age and as usual, she's amazing. This is such a fraught time for her, as she figures out just who she is and what her values are. She's asserting her individuality and I have to keep supporting and when needed, safeguarding her. Roots then wings and all that!

As for me, I will try to work out what is right and then to find the strength to do it. Nobody said it was easy, but I didn't know that it could be this hard either.

Forge ahead

I've neglected to blog much over the past 2 months, and have been thinking about what I want to write here. I feel like I share too much sometimes, but also that there's much that I keep hidden. The past few months have been a time of personal reflection on what it is I need and want and how I can raise my children in an atmosphere of love and possibility. In recent years I have reconsidered many of my values and ideas about the world and with new insight, have discarded many assumptions and taken new notions on-board. This is the real voyage, it's scary and exciting but it will continue as long as live. I hope.

Photo owned by wili_hybrid (cc)